Progress

In March Noah started therapy. He is seeing a speech therapist for his speech delay and an occupational therapist for his sensory and development delays. He really likes both of his therapists. They are both so sweet and work great with him. Of course I wish I could say that we had instant success and that he is rambling on in sentences but it doesn’t work that way. I remind myself of that daily but he is making progress. Each week I see them challenge him with new activities and he does a great job adapting to new things and tries to do what is asked of him.

As a parent I still have lots of moments of feeling overwhelmed and sad. I love to hear his little voice and we cheer every time he says anything. He still only has a few words. He doesn’t say mama or mommy yet and that along with I love you are the things I want to hear the most. Some days I blame myself for not doing enough and think what can I do differently to help him. I just wish I had answers and wish I could do something more.

We are moving in June for Les to start her third year of medical school and to start clinical rotations. We are planning on starting Noah in a mother’s day out twice a week in August and it makes me a nervous wreck. I know it is a silly thing to worry over because I’m sure he’ll do fine but because he can’t talk I worry that the teachers wont know what needs. I’ve become an expert at knowing his little quirks and knowing when he’s thirsty, hungry, tired, wants his monkey, etc. But its time for him to be around other kiddos. I know it will be great for him and I’ll look back and think how silly I was to worry.

I just love that little boy soooo much. He has me wrapped around his finger.

I’ll leave you with a few recent pictures of our little guy ☺️

   
                 

Overwhelmed

Every parent has fears and worries for their children. They may worry that their child may not be accepted or deal with bullying one day. Especially as a gay parent, I know I’ve worried about what Noah might face having two moms. I have worried about the discrimination he might face growing up but here lately I’ve silently been dealing with new fears and worries. I have felt quite overwhelmed recently and decided that it might help me if I wrote about what’s going on.
Noah turned two back in November and he still isn’t talking. He babbles and makes noises but still says only two words clearly and none really consistently. Our pediatrician mentioned some concerns at his 12 month check up and again at his 18 month visit but also suggested that maybe he just needed more time, that boys tend to be slower to talk. Now here we are at 26 months old and he’s still not talking. And I feel panicked and stressed that he’s so far behind other toddlers his age. Despite knowing I shouldn’t compare him to other children I can’t help but do it. I feel so overwhelmed seeing how far he needs to go to catch up.
At our two year visit we discussed the delay in his speech and discuss the possibility that this might be more than a speech delay. We’ve asked about a possible hearing deficiency or autism or aspergers. We aren’t afraid of the possible diagnosis’s just wish I knew why he wasn’t talking. The doc doesn’t seem to think that he fits into either of those categories of autism or aspergers but just simply believes that speech therapy is the key to helping him. So we’ve started down that road. We have a speech evaluation referral and hopefully will be starting therapy in the next couple of weeks. To rule out a hearing deficit he’s had not one but two hearing screenings. The first screening left me feeling unsure and questioning the results bc the told me he was on the low end of normal but offered no real explanations. After the second screening we feel confident that it is not his hearing. That screening at Tennessee School for the Deaf went really well and we felt like he was responding well and they covered all areas of concern.
So now I am hopeful that we’ll have everything going that he needs very soon.
I can’t say enough how sweet and loving our precious boy is. He gives the best kisses and hugs. He brightens our home with his energy, contagious smiles and laughter. He brings such joy and happiness to all of our lives already that I can’t imagine how much more our world would change hearing his sweet voice express his thoughts and feelings. But if he never says a word I’ll love him just the same.

I’ll give another update soon.

~M

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