Progress

In March Noah started therapy. He is seeing a speech therapist for his speech delay and an occupational therapist for his sensory and development delays. He really likes both of his therapists. They are both so sweet and work great with him. Of course I wish I could say that we had instant success and that he is rambling on in sentences but it doesn’t work that way. I remind myself of that daily but he is making progress. Each week I see them challenge him with new activities and he does a great job adapting to new things and tries to do what is asked of him.

As a parent I still have lots of moments of feeling overwhelmed and sad. I love to hear his little voice and we cheer every time he says anything. He still only has a few words. He doesn’t say mama or mommy yet and that along with I love you are the things I want to hear the most. Some days I blame myself for not doing enough and think what can I do differently to help him. I just wish I had answers and wish I could do something more.

We are moving in June for Les to start her third year of medical school and to start clinical rotations. We are planning on starting Noah in a mother’s day out twice a week in August and it makes me a nervous wreck. I know it is a silly thing to worry over because I’m sure he’ll do fine but because he can’t talk I worry that the teachers wont know what needs. I’ve become an expert at knowing his little quirks and knowing when he’s thirsty, hungry, tired, wants his monkey, etc. But its time for him to be around other kiddos. I know it will be great for him and I’ll look back and think how silly I was to worry.

I just love that little boy soooo much. He has me wrapped around his finger.

I’ll leave you with a few recent pictures of our little guy ☺️

   
                 

Overwhelmed

Every parent has fears and worries for their children. They may worry that their child may not be accepted or deal with bullying one day. Especially as a gay parent, I know I’ve worried about what Noah might face having two moms. I have worried about the discrimination he might face growing up but here lately I’ve silently been dealing with new fears and worries. I have felt quite overwhelmed recently and decided that it might help me if I wrote about what’s going on.
Noah turned two back in November and he still isn’t talking. He babbles and makes noises but still says only two words clearly and none really consistently. Our pediatrician mentioned some concerns at his 12 month check up and again at his 18 month visit but also suggested that maybe he just needed more time, that boys tend to be slower to talk. Now here we are at 26 months old and he’s still not talking. And I feel panicked and stressed that he’s so far behind other toddlers his age. Despite knowing I shouldn’t compare him to other children I can’t help but do it. I feel so overwhelmed seeing how far he needs to go to catch up.
At our two year visit we discussed the delay in his speech and discuss the possibility that this might be more than a speech delay. We’ve asked about a possible hearing deficiency or autism or aspergers. We aren’t afraid of the possible diagnosis’s just wish I knew why he wasn’t talking. The doc doesn’t seem to think that he fits into either of those categories of autism or aspergers but just simply believes that speech therapy is the key to helping him. So we’ve started down that road. We have a speech evaluation referral and hopefully will be starting therapy in the next couple of weeks. To rule out a hearing deficit he’s had not one but two hearing screenings. The first screening left me feeling unsure and questioning the results bc the told me he was on the low end of normal but offered no real explanations. After the second screening we feel confident that it is not his hearing. That screening at Tennessee School for the Deaf went really well and we felt like he was responding well and they covered all areas of concern.
So now I am hopeful that we’ll have everything going that he needs very soon.
I can’t say enough how sweet and loving our precious boy is. He gives the best kisses and hugs. He brightens our home with his energy, contagious smiles and laughter. He brings such joy and happiness to all of our lives already that I can’t imagine how much more our world would change hearing his sweet voice express his thoughts and feelings. But if he never says a word I’ll love him just the same.

I’ll give another update soon.

~M

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Summer Time!!!

Well we did it or should I say she did it. Les finished her first year of med school. I couldn’t be more proud of her and how hard she worked to end the year with a 3.5 GPA. As soon as she finished her last exam for the year we packed up all of our summer clothes and living essentials and headed back to Nashville for the summer. We are staying in a tiny little studio apartment behind my grandparents house and we’re making it work. It feels like our own little vacation condo for the summer.
I have packed our calendar full of fun stuff. I didn’t want to waste a min since this is the last Summer Break Les will ever have. This time next year she will be studying for her first round of board exams and we will be packing up to move to her new clinical core site.
The first thing we did when we got back to Nashville was join the YMCA for the summer. It’s 15 mins away and they have a great gym and an amazing pool. So on the days we don’t have anything going the Y can be our thing to do. Noah has become our little fishy. He loves the water so much. No fear at all. He wears his floaty and is all over the place in the pool.

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We’ve started making our rounds to see friends that we haven’t seen in so long. We have a few small trips planned and a big family vacation to Destin,Florida with my family at the end of June. I’m so excited that summer is here and I have my wife back for a couple of months! Bring on the fun! It’s Summer time!

Easter Photo Shoot

Our little guy had his first little photo shoot with live animals…of course we didn’t catch him smiling in any of them but at least he didn’t cry!

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Noah loved the fake carrots that came along with the bunny shots. He kept trying to eat them!

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He really liked the chicks but they kept running away from him, Ha! He smiled and laughed at them when they first brought them out but as soon as the photographer started to shoot no smiles for the camera. Of course!

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The little lamb was adorbale…I think Noah may have thought it was a dog. As you can see from the pictures he barely paid it any attention.

 

So no smiling pictures but I still love them! He couldn’t have been more handsome in his Easter outfit!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

~M

 

Starting Down That Road Again

We’ve started talking about having another baby. Just typing the words out seem crazy considering Noah just turned one! But as many of you understand this is not a quick process and it takes lots of planning to even get to the point of actually trying. I started a To Do list of things that we need to get done to get the ball rolling. The earliest we would even try is late summer so we’re 6 to 7 months out but there is so much to do.

First on my list was to contact Noah’s donor to see if he would be willing to donate for us again. As some of you know, we used a known donor that we found through a website. The last time we spoke with him was when I was 9 months pregnant asking him to go to our attorney’s office to sign paperwork concerning  terminating his parental rights to Noah. So to say the least it had been a while and I was insanely nervous about contacting him.

A few weeks ago I sat down and wrote out an email to him. I spent hours typing, deleting, typing then deleting again. I thanked him for giving Les and I the chance to be parents together. I told him how much we loved and adored Noah. I told him how much he had changed our lives. You would have thought that I had written a novel considering how long it took me but nope just three paragraphs. Finally finished with my request and of course I was too afraid to hit the send button. I went back to it the next day and edited some more but still could not bring myself to hit send. I’m not scared of him but I was terrified that his answer would be no and I would be crushed. I know that he has a very busy schedule and donating takes time. I was worried that he just might be in a different place in his life and just not be willing to do it again. A week went by and I finally pulled the email back up read through it several times and forced myself to hit send.

I didn’t check my email for a few days not expecting a response. When I finally did there it was… my answer. I nervously read through the email. I read his words congratulating us on our healthy boy and our happiness. Then there it was it a perfect sentence. “I would be happy to donate again.” Tears began to flow without reserve. I am so thrilled about his response and actually feel silly now for worrying so much.

So the ball is rolling but there is still so much to do!

~M

Just a little Family Photo Shoot

I was so thrilled about doing Noah’s One year Photos and getting our family photos in too. It was a beautiful Fall day in Knoxville when we had these done and I can’t thank Sissy Sullivan enough for doing such a wonderful job.

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11 Months Old

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Noah turned 11 months old October 12th and here we are a day away from this month being over.

He weighs 20.8 lbs which is no different from last month but he grew an inch and a half! He is now 28 1/2 inches tall!

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I CAN…..

Take Several Steps~ Wobbly for sure but he’s getting better each day!

Give Great Kisses~ They are wet and he doesn’t always give them on command but they are so sweet when he does!

Clap My Hands~ My favorite thing he’s learned so far. Been working hard on this one. He holds one had still and strums the other but it’s clapping to us!

I LOVE….

Watching Musicals.~ His favorite is Hairspray.

The Vacuum Cleaner. ~ Cleaning the floor has never been so exciting. He just squeals and claps! He’s my biggest fan. Ha!

Playing with Magnet Letters.~ I spend a lot of time picking up little magnet letters off the floor than I do anything else. He leaves a trail wherever he goes.

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Such a fun month of firsts. Just when I think I couldn’t love him anymore another day happens and I just adore him more and more. I thank God every day for blessing us with such a sweet baby boy.

Life in the Mountains

Well it has been a while since I took the time to write about what has been going on in our world. Things just seemed to get rolling so fast once Les started school. I feel like I’m adjusting well to life in the mountains. Things here move at a slower pace but I am finding myself embracing that instead of hating it. Every morning I drive Nathan to school and on my way there and back I just look at the mountains in amazement. There hasn’t been a morning that I havent thought to myself, “this is just beautiful”. I often wonder if the people who have always lived here appreciate the scenery as much as I do. I hope that as long as we live here I always take the time to appreciate the amazing views and beautiful mountains that surround us. IMG_6374 Here’s a picture that I took of the view just to the right of our home.

Yes the views are amazing but there have been so many changes. Living here is very different.

I made a list of the things I’ve had to get used to living in the country…

* People ride their 4-wheelers EVERYWHERE.

* Lots of dead animals on the road…I’ve never seen so many dead skunks, possums, squirrels, rabbits, etc. in my entire life!

* No local trash pick up. We have to take our trash to the dump ourselves and I am not a fan of this at all. Luckily it is only a mile down the road but still a pain to do it and STINKY too!!!

* Cows grazing in our backyard and mooing extremely loudly at times.

* No Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts.

* Very limited shopping options.

* Being the only lesbian family

For over a year now we have prepared for Leslie to start Med School. We knew that school would become her full-time job. Well my goodness has it ever been that and then some! She is usually gone 8 to 12 hours a day. She has lectures and labs every day. And then study time on top of all that. I can’t begin to keep up with the crazy schedule that she has. I do my best to be supportive the best way I know how. I keep up with the boys and the house. I do all the cooking and cleaning so she can focus on school. She has been pretty stressed out to say the least. But we’re learning a routine and working out the kinks in our schedules. I still drive back to Nashville every weekend to work for now. I know most of you are probably thinking I’m crazy but honestly its really not that bad. I leave on Friday when Nathan gets out of school. I drive 3 hours and 30 mins drop the boys off with my parents then go in to work for the night. I work again Saturday night then drive back to east Sunday evening after getting some rest. I make a little bit of money and my job gives me and the boys health insurance. I know that one day I may get tired of it but for now its working so I’ll keep doing it until I decide its too much.

I’m excited to tell you that I’m making friends! Yay! I joined the SAA (Student Advocate Assoc.) here at LMU, which is made up mostly of Med Student spouses. And through the group I have met several other stay at home moms and other spouses. This group seems to be like a close-knit group of girls that really help each other through the Med School process while their spouses are busy with school. Everyone has been very nice and welcoming so far. Of course I always have that small fear of being discriminated against when people learn we are a lesbian family but so far we have had no problems despite living in a conservative area.

Nathan has made several friends at his new school and is transitioning well. He still misses his friends at his old school but is doing really well here. I do worry that he isn’t being challenged enough here at this school but I am just happy that he is fitting in and not begging to go back to his old school every day.

Well wish us luck as we continue working to make these mountains home!

~M

A is for Adoption Day!

Last week we finished up our Home Study and our attorney filed our petition for adoption with the courts. We were really hoping that it would be in time for us to get on the July 9th docket but unfortunately that didn’t happen. There is only one judge that does the adoptions in our county and he was out of the office so he did not get the documents signed in time for us to make it happen for the month of July. It was disappointing that we have to wait another month to finish the adoption but the upside is that our adoption is now scheduled to be finalized on August 6th, which just happens to be Leslie’s Birthday! What an amazing birthday present for her! I am so excited to have this complete! Such a huge weight lifted. Noah will finally have both Les and I legally recognized as his moms. It will be a great day for us as a family. I’m going to have to plan a huge celebration for Adoption Day to celebrate Les and the fact that this process is finally over!IMG_5367

7 Months Old

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Noah Seven Months Old and He is so much fun! He is such a sweet little guy and I just treasure each day with him. At 7 months he weighs 18.8 lbs. Still no teeth but not for the lack of trying! I just know that any day now he will have one pop into view.

So at 7 months he LOVES…

*Babbling and making noise. Noah has become very chatty. He says “babababa” and “dadadada”. Squealing about anything and everything has become the norm. He grunts and makes all kinds of crazy noises when he eats. It is too funny to listen too. We keep trying to get him to add a “mamama” in his line up but he hasn’t yet, maybe next month! : )

*Putting everything in my mouth. Oh boy! This couldn’t be more true. He has been teething like crazy and those little teeth are causing Noah quite a but of pain. He’s having trouble sleeping through the night because of the discomfort.

*Army Crawling everywhere. He is officially on the move! He can get from point A to B in no time on his belly just using his arms. He will get up on his knees and rock back and worth but has yet to truly crawl. He cracks us up when he going into a plank position or he other favorite looks like “downward dog”. (I’ll post some of the pictures we have of that later.)

*Playing with bath toys. We introduced bath toys now that he can sit up by himself in his tub! I didn’t think it was possible for him to love bath time anymore but I was wrong. His favorite are his foam bath letters. Of course they go straight to his mouth. There are so many of them that he doesn’t know which one to grab first. He’ll go from one letter to the next tasting them all! Ha!

*Nana’s dogs. My mom has two little dogs, Harley – the yorkie and Bentley – maltiepoo. Noah loves loves loves those two! He just watches them wherever they go. He will just laugh and laugh at them when they play or bark. He enjoys being in the floor with them and I’ve decided that it must be because they are just his size!

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Its been a wonderful month with Noah. He is quite the charmer. I’ve never seen Les so smitten. He just lights up the room and can’t help but be happy around him.

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5 Months Old

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Posting Noah’s 5 month update a little late but this has been a crazy couple of weeks. Noah is such a joy. He has some new loves now that he is 5 months old.

…eating fruit! Apples, Pears, Bananas, and Peaches are our current favs. I can’t seem to feed him fast enough. He gets really huffy and fusses when I don’t get the spoon back to his mouth…he can down a whole bowl of fruit with a little oatmeal in no time!

…his feet! If they aren’t covered you can bet he’s holding them. He’s even managed to get his toes in his mouth.

…rolling over! Noah is a rolling machine. Diaper changes are more difficult now and there is no more unattended naps on the couch or bed.

…being tickled! Oh boy! We have one ticklish little one on our hand. He laughs when you tickle his tummy, under his chin and his feet!

…strolling in the park! Now that spring and sprung we are out and strolling almost daily. If Noah is fussy or restless I can strap him in his stroller and before we’ve made it out of the driveway his content!

…babbling and squealing! Talk about cute! It is cutie overload when he starts babbling on and on. He gets excited and squeals so loud! He has us all laughing all the time now that he’s so vocal!