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Overwhelmed

Every parent has fears and worries for their children. They may worry that their child may not be accepted or deal with bullying one day. Especially as a gay parent, I know I’ve worried about what Noah might face having two moms. I have worried about the discrimination he might face growing up but here lately I’ve silently been dealing with new fears and worries. I have felt quite overwhelmed recently and decided that it might help me if I wrote about what’s going on.
Noah turned two back in November and he still isn’t talking. He babbles and makes noises but still says only two words clearly and none really consistently. Our pediatrician mentioned some concerns at his 12 month check up and again at his 18 month visit but also suggested that maybe he just needed more time, that boys tend to be slower to talk. Now here we are at 26 months old and he’s still not talking. And I feel panicked and stressed that he’s so far behind other toddlers his age. Despite knowing I shouldn’t compare him to other children I can’t help but do it. I feel so overwhelmed seeing how far he needs to go to catch up.
At our two year visit we discussed the delay in his speech and discuss the possibility that this might be more than a speech delay. We’ve asked about a possible hearing deficiency or autism or aspergers. We aren’t afraid of the possible diagnosis’s just wish I knew why he wasn’t talking. The doc doesn’t seem to think that he fits into either of those categories of autism or aspergers but just simply believes that speech therapy is the key to helping him. So we’ve started down that road. We have a speech evaluation referral and hopefully will be starting therapy in the next couple of weeks. To rule out a hearing deficit he’s had not one but two hearing screenings. The first screening left me feeling unsure and questioning the results bc the told me he was on the low end of normal but offered no real explanations. After the second screening we feel confident that it is not his hearing. That screening at Tennessee School for the Deaf went really well and we felt like he was responding well and they covered all areas of concern.
So now I am hopeful that we’ll have everything going that he needs very soon.
I can’t say enough how sweet and loving our precious boy is. He gives the best kisses and hugs. He brightens our home with his energy, contagious smiles and laughter. He brings such joy and happiness to all of our lives already that I can’t imagine how much more our world would change hearing his sweet voice express his thoughts and feelings. But if he never says a word I’ll love him just the same.

I’ll give another update soon.

~M

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Happy News! Happy Fourth!

The Fourth of July just happens to be my favorite holiday. My birthday is just two days before it and many years we would celebrate it on the 4th. I mean who doesn’t love sunshine, cookouts, swimming, and fireworks!!!
I woke up this morning ready to test. This two week wait has been long but the two minute wait after peeing on the stick felt like another two days!

The early results are in…20140704-094336-35016810.jpg
Happy News! It says we’re pregnant! I’m still in shock! Super excited but it hasn’t fully set in yet. We’ll call our doc Monday morning to get some blood work drawn but hoping that it’s just more good news. Yay!

Happy 4th Everyone!

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home insemination, ICI, insemination, known donor, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, two week wait, tww

The Deed is Done

All went well last weekend. I literally had to remind myself we were inseminating the next day when I was leaving for work Friday night. All goes to show that this time is very different from the last. I left work Sat morning and arrived at his house all of 5 mins later. Which seems really odd to me that he lives so close and I had no idea. He text me at 7:58 to let me know it was ready and I hustled up the three flights of stairs to his door to find our stuff sitting there waiting in a Whole Foods bag. Back to the car I went where I immediately place the sterile cup with our swimmers between my legs and sped home. Exactly 22 mins later the deed was done and I was there it that old familiar position, legs in the air, until my feet were completely asleep. Went to bed for the day feeling good about it. Woke up that afternoon and did the whole thing over again. Work, pick up, inseminate and sleep.
Les said I was way less intense this go round. I didn’t get pissy or short with her. Didn’t make her feel rushed and frazzled like before so that’s a good thing!
Now we’re in our two week wait! One week down with one week to go. Trying not to think about it and keep busy. I’ll have news either way really soon.

artificial insemination, home insemination, ICI, insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian family, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, two moms, Uncategorized

It’s time!

It’s time! We will be inseminating this weekend. I can’t believe that it’s here already and we will be starting this roller coaster over again. Right now I don’t feel any stress and pressure but I know its coming. I have a distant memory of the disappointment and sadness that I felt when we weren’t successful. I can tell you that I am not looking forward to revisiting those feelings again. I’m hoping that maybe this time I will be too busy chasing after Noah and keeping up with all that Nathan has going on this summer to be bummed out if we aren’t successful.

So fingers crossed.

~M

gay family, known donor, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, Uncategorized

We’re Ready

We talked to our donor and he’s willing to do the same day insemination again. He said that it wasn’t an inconvenience and didn’t mind doing it like we did last time. We are super relieved and excited that he said yes so now I guess we’re ready to get started! The only thing I’m really worried about is the tight time window that we have to work with. We only have two months to try to conceive this time. I know that we may not be as lucky as we were last time with Noah. As of right now we are planning on trying in June and July. We will be living in Nashville for the summer so it will be easy to plan but if it doesn’t take either of those months then we will have to wait until Nov and Dec to try again. : (

I am doing my best to think positively but I find myself not wanting to get my hopes up either. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and if we aren’t succesful this summer it will be okay.

Well I guess that’s the only update I have for now…

I’ve added some pictures from Easter Sunday. Our boys looked especially handsome and I am so happy with the pictures we got that day! : )

 

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Easter Photo Shoot

Our little guy had his first little photo shoot with live animals…of course we didn’t catch him smiling in any of them but at least he didn’t cry!

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Noah loved the fake carrots that came along with the bunny shots. He kept trying to eat them!

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He really liked the chicks but they kept running away from him, Ha! He smiled and laughed at them when they first brought them out but as soon as the photographer started to shoot no smiles for the camera. Of course!

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The little lamb was adorbale…I think Noah may have thought it was a dog. As you can see from the pictures he barely paid it any attention.

 

So no smiling pictures but I still love them! He couldn’t have been more handsome in his Easter outfit!

HAPPY EASTER!!!

~M

 

ICI, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians ttc, trying to conceive, TTC, Uncategorized

Spring is Here!!!

I have never been so happy for it to be Spring! This has been the coldest winter I have ever endured. I am so happy the weather is finally warming up and the earth is going to be GREEN again! We were lucky enough that Leslie and Nathan had the same Spring Break this year so we packed up on Friday after Les’s exam and headed to Nashville. I scheduled  appointments with Noah’s pediatrician and our RE while we were in town.

On Monday we hit the ground running. Noah had his 15 month check up a month late. Bless his little heart he at 16 months weighs 23 pounds and is 30.5 inches tall. He was below average in both categories 20th percentile for weight and 16th percentile for height. Nathan was exactly the same way so no real surprise to me anyway. During the visit he wasn’t exactly his charming self. He screamed anytime the doctor or nurse touched him. He was a hot mess to say the least! I guess he felt the impending doom of the shots coming from the time we walked in the door. But we made it through the shots and he survived. The only concern that we talked about was that he isn’t using real words yet. They usually have approximately 3 words by 16 months and Noah’s not there yet. He can say Bye-Bye and Yay. But those are the only words that he’s saying. And signing words doesn’t count. So we’re going to keep working with him and I think we’re going to start a Mother’s Day Out kind of program in May. Just two days a week for 4-5 hours. It’ll be good for him.

So after his appointment we went to see our RE who happens to have his new office in the same building. Of course Noah passed out in the waiting room before we had a chance to show him off to our favorite doctor and his staff. My check up went well then we had the chance to talk to him about how we were ready to start things up again. We discussed having him write an order for the fertility clinic to collect and store the sperm from our donor. He said he’s willing to do whatever we need but suggested to save money that we just try to do same day fresh insemination with our donor again. Considering that is how we got pregnant last time he just thinks that it may be the best way to try again this time. So I’m going to contact our donor to see if he’d be willing to do it that way again. Fingers crossed if he says yes and we can hopefully give it a try in June and July!