gay family, known donor, lesbian, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians ttc, LGBT, sperm donors, TTC, two moms, Uncategorized

Starting Down That Road Again

We’ve started talking about having another baby. Just typing the words out seem crazy considering Noah just turned one! But as many of you understand this is not a quick process and it takes lots of planning to even get to the point of actually trying. I started a To Do list of things that we need to get done to get the ball rolling. The earliest we would even try is late summer so we’re 6 to 7 months out but there is so much to do.

First on my list was to contact Noah’s donor to see if he would be willing to donate for us again. As some of you know, we used a known donor that we found through a website. The last time we spoke with him was when I was 9 months pregnant asking him to go to our attorney’s office to sign paperwork concerning  terminating his parental rights to Noah. So to say the least it had been a while and I was insanely nervous about contacting him.

A few weeks ago I sat down and wrote out an email to him. I spent hours typing, deleting, typing then deleting again. I thanked him for giving Les and I the chance to be parents together. I told him how much we loved and adored Noah. I told him how much he had changed our lives. You would have thought that I had written a novel considering how long it took me but nope just three paragraphs. Finally finished with my request and of course I was too afraid to hit the send button. I went back to it the next day and edited some more but still could not bring myself to hit send. I’m not scared of him but I was terrified that his answer would be no and I would be crushed. I know that he has a very busy schedule and donating takes time. I was worried that he just might be in a different place in his life and just not be willing to do it again. A week went by and I finally pulled the email back up read through it several times and forced myself to hit send.

I didn’t check my email for a few days not expecting a response. When I finally did there it was… my answer. I nervously read through the email. I read his words congratulating us on our healthy boy and our happiness. Then there it was it a perfect sentence. “I would be happy to donate again.” Tears began to flow without reserve. I am so thrilled about his response and actually feel silly now for worrying so much.

So the ball is rolling but there is still so much to do!

~M

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artificial insemination, baby, home insemination, ICI, insemination, intracervical insemination, intrauterine insemination, IUI, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, supportive, trying to conceive, TTC, Uncategorized

It’s Official

Well its official the Doc says I’m 100% pregnant. Not that I didn’t already know it but hearing it from him makes us feel better! Bright and early this morning we went to my appointment. While in the waiting room our doctor’s nurse came to get another patient and spotted us. She gave us a big grin and said, “Hey Ladies! So happy to see you guys! Can’t wait to hear how this came about!”. We were called back  a few mins later and of course she wants to know how this all happened. So I give her the quick run down about how we had decided we couldn’t wait the 6 months for the clinic. Ordered everything online that we needed for the home insemination. Picked up the fresh swimmers from our donor 2 days in a row. Then did the inseminations ourselves. She just kept saying, “He is just going to die when he hears this news! This is amazing! I’m so excited!” Ha! It was so sweet. So our 3rd Wheel pokes his head around the corner while I was still sitting at the nurses desk answering questions and he has this big smile on his face. She says to him, “You’ll never believe what they did! They ordered stuff online and did the insemination at home and now they’re pregnant!” He leaned in and gave us both a High-Five, says Congrats and tells us we’ll have to give him all the details once he sees us in the exam room. So a few mins later we’re back in a room and he comes into talk to us. He got a little confused on the details with our insemination and thought that we had done an IUI by ourselves at home! Ha! No Way! It was much easier for him to let everything make sense when we told him that we did ICI at home. We did a quick run down of possible due date and right now he’s saying Nov 15th!!! We were too early to do an ultrasound but have one scheduled in 2 weeks. We discussed all the do’s & don’ts. In that discussion I received the best news ever! I can drink coffee!!!! I mean he said not to go overboard but 1 or 2 cups a day is fine. Sweet Lord… 1 cup is all I need!!! I was so excited I wanted to jump off the exam table and give him a hug! So we left there feeling so lucky and happy to have a doctor and nursing staff that is so supportive of us.

Now on to my other latest business. Last night I decided to tell my little man the big news while he and I were having a Momma & Son dessert date on the couch. Originally Les and I planned to tell him together but last night I couldn’t wait any longer.  She was at work and I just really wanted to tell him. So I said, “Well I’ve got a big surprise for you. You’re……going…..to be…………(Long pause where he and I both kept laughing bc he said I was smiling funny)……a Big Brother!” It was the best reaction ever! You could see it all over his face! He was so excited! He gave me a big hug and said, “I want a brother please. I’m already outnumbered in the house I need another boy to balance things out.” Ha! So cute! I just adore that boy! He wants to tell everyone now. He wanted to be the ones to tell my parents which was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! Ha! I said sure thing buddy of course you can be the one to tell them. My parents invited us over for dinner so it was the perfect time to go ahead and do it. Les had to work so it was just us two over there and he couldn’t even wait until we sat down to eat. He told them kinda like I told him. He said, “So, Nana and Big Daddy, I’ve got some big news for you. I’m…(pause)….going to be………(pause)….. a Big Brother!” To my amazement they we actually happy, smiling and excited to hear the news! Score! What an awesome feeling?!? They asked a few questions about how far along I was and other little stuff but both kept saying that they we happy and excited for us. Such a relief!

Wow…I am just overwhelmed with all of the love and support that we’re getting right now. I can’t even begin to explain how great it feels to have people happy and excited for me that I’m pregnant. My first pregnancy was not like this at all. I know that it was because of how young I was and because it was very unplanned but there was no celebration when I told the news. I felt ashamed most of the time that I was pregnant and its so great to feel like this is something to be proud of now. Wow….just feels like a dream. So happy that I feel like I could burst!

~M

artificial insemination, clomid, fertility, home insemination, ICI, insemination, intracervical insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians ttc, pregnancy, sperm donors, trying to conceive, TTC, two week wait, tww

Dip Stick

Well the waiting was unbearable. I gave in on Monday and decided to go ahead and take a test early. I did the whole routine and peed in a cup, which I have become quite a professional at doing I must say… Then I dipped the stick and waited to see the NOT PREGNANT words appear. The stupid thing kept flashing and flashing…I thought for sure it was broken but finally words magically appeared… PREGNANT. I thought my eyes were screwing with me and I wasn’t reading it right. I went into the bedroom and woke Les up. She had worked the night before so she was quite startled by me shoving a pregnancy test in her face saying, “Oh My God read this for me… What does that say?” She rubs her eyes and puts her glasses on…. She looks at it and then looks back at me. “It says you’re Pregnant!” We kept looking at the stick like the words were going to change. The feeling of disbelief came over me. Sweet Lord…this can’t be true. I mean this is what we’ve been wanting and waiting for but REALLY?!?!? Is it really happening?!?!? I’m still in shock 3 days later. I would have never guessed that we would have been successful after our first at home insemination. We were both prepared for several more months of this process. I still can’t believe it. I’m so happy I feel like I could explode!

I’ve been dying to blog about it and let everyone who has been so supportive know our good news but Les wanted me to wait a little bit. She finally gave me the green light today to tell everyone. We have a doctors appointment for Tuesday for conformation But things are looking good. I’ve now taken 3 tests and have had 3 positives results. So I guess its time to let it sink in.

artificial insemination, awkward, clomid, donor, home insemination, infertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC, two week wait

We Did It

We Did It!!! I have to tell you that this was by far the most interesting experience. I’ll give you the run down of how it went…and I’m going to try really hard not to ramble!

So Thursday was the BIG day! We packed up what we would need for our quick stay at the hotel and left the house in separate cars. Les headed to check us into the hotel and set everything up for the insemination. I headed to our donors condo to pick up Jiz Cup #1. Yay!!! So I was supposed to pick it up at 3 and of course, for the first time in my life, I’m way too early. Like 30 mins too early. I was a nervous wreck! I drove around in circles until I couldn’t stand to wait anymore. I pulled into this complex at 2:45. I was shaking and my heart was racing! I called Les and said “I’m still early! I don’t want to rush him… it could cause him to have some kind of stage fright! What do I do?” She said “Goodness, calm down. Just send him a text. Its okay.” So I nervously sent him a text saying I was there and no rush just let me know when he was ready for me to get it. A few mins later I get a message from him saying it’s there. We had agreed that he would sit it on his porch in a bag when he was done. So I quickly make my way up the steps to grab the bag. (He had it in a MAC make-up bag, which told me his wife has good taste in make-up) I just knew that I was going to do something stupid like trip and fall on their front porch steps bc I was still a nervous wreck but thankfully I didn’t. I jump back in the car, put the cup between my legs to keep our little swimmers warm, and drive a quickly to our hotel…all of 2 miles away. I arrive to our room and handoff the cup. She had the room set up like we were about to do surgery….future doctor that she is. She gets the Jiz ready and I’m impatiently waiting for her to get this show on the road. All I could think was that our swimmers would be dying one by one if we didn’t hurry up and get them where they are supposed to be! So just like we had practiced…We used all of our fancy home insemination kit stuff and Les did the insemination perfectly. It went off without a hitch. It was surprisingly easy. Now that the swimmers were in, I propped pillows under my hips, put my legs up on the wall, and tried to relax. I know I must have looked ridiculous! The first twenty mins I felt fine then my legs started falling asleep. Then I started to feel like I needed to pee. Les wasn’t exactly sympathetic to how I was feeling… She reminded me I had to stay like that for at least another 20 mins. “We don’t want all of it to come back out! We need to keep them going in the right direction… come on you can do it. Just hang on a little longer.” So I did. I managed to stay that way for an hour! After a quick bathroom break I laid back down with my sweet wife to nap and stay relaxed…Day One was Done!

I didn’t sleep a wink Thursday night in the hotel by myself. Les was working just mins away and would be meeting our donor there in the hospital at 6:40 a.m. to pick up Jiz Cup #2. I was so jealous that she was going to get to meet him face to face! She agreed to meet him at work not knowing what to expect…would it be awkward? Would he act like he was handing her a bomb? Behind her she hears this happy voice say, “Good Morning”. She is slightly startled but turns around to see him smiling at her with the bag ready to hand to her. At first she thought he was shaking the bag at her to get her attention, but then noticed it was his whole arm shaking. Bless his heart! He must have been so nervous and totally freaked out! She says thank you. And he says, “Your welcome. See you later!” and is out of her sight in a split second. She calls me when she gets in the car and says, “Oh my God he is so cute and adorable! You can really tell he is a great guy!” Well that was just a HUGE relief! So she arrives at the hotel just a few mins after picking it up and I have everything set up this time. We feel like Pros doing it today. I should have had a stopwatch going to time how fast we were. Then like the day before I practically stood on my head afterwards, pillows piled under me and my legs on the wall. Lasted the full 45 mins and without a single complaint that time. When the time was up we laid down to get some much-needed sleep. We were both completely worn out! Slept a solid 5 hours and I don’t think I moved the whole time. We packed up and headed home so happy that it went so well and glad that we had officially broken our At Home Insemination Cherry! WooHoo!

Now the two-week wait begins.

~M

artificial insemination, awkward, clomid, donor, fertility, infertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC

How in the Heck is this Gonna Work?

Well we are exactly a week away from the big day and we have no idea how this is going to work. We have half of a plan…but just the first half. We know that we have all the supplies we need to make this happen. We’ve done our homework on how to do this (the insemination) and do it right. We know that our donor is on board and is ready to donate Thursday and Friday but there’s a catch. He will be at the hospital all day both days. Now that means we will meet him really quickly to do the “hand-off”. The doctor said that we need to do the insemination pretty much right away…well how in the heck is this gonna work? We will be 30 mins away from our house!

I can’t believe I’m even writing about this…We’ve considered inseminating in the car because the actual insemination will only take 5 mins or 10 mins max. The long part is me having to lay down hips elevated for at least 20 mins. But really?!?! How insane is that? In a car? I watched a documentary on 20/20 a month or so ago of couples trying to get pregnant like us using known donors. One of the couples did inseminate in the car after picking up their swimmers. They did it right down the street in a parking lot or something. Its Karma coming back to get me because I laughed at the idea of them doing that. Well I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. Sure we do have a Tahoe with practically blacked out windows with plenty of room for me to lay down comfortably but my goodness… Is it just me that thinks this sounds crazy?

We are so ready to be pregnant and start our family but I had no idea how hard it would be, especially doing it this way. When we decided to change to using a known donor we knew all the work that was going to be on our shoulders but just not how much. Yes, we have saved thousands of dollars by choosing to do it this way but we’ve added lots of stress. I know we’ll figure it out…

~M

artificial insemination, awkward, baby, clomid, donor, fertility, infertility, insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, LGBT, sperm donors, TTC, Uncategorized

Plan C

What a rollercoaster…this past week I have spent more time on the phone than a telemarketer. I think we have finally nailed down a plan and are ready to get going. Unfortunately we had to let go of the idea of being able to do IUI’s right now due to the fact that we aren’t able to get around the 6 month quarantine period. We were hoping that the one other fertility clinic in our area would be able to provide the services for us but it turns out that they are almost impossible to deal with. I’m pretty sure that the patient coordinator that I spoke with at least three times has a learning disability. I wonder if she can even tie her own shoes. She could not understand what I was wanting from her clinic. Its pretty simple… Our donor comes in and donates his swimmers. You collect it… do what you do with it… put into vials, store it…then you let me use those vials without having to wait 6 months. But she kept wanting to schedule an appointment for me and our donor with one of the doctors at their clinic even after telling her I had my own doctor and I just needed the collection and storage. I think it’s safe to assume that they must not deal with very many lesbian couples. I still don’t think she understands that I do not have a problem with fertility. “Listen lady, I do not have a fertility issue.. other than the fact that my wife does not produce sperm! Is that clear enough for you?” I finally just gave up. There was no point in getting all worked up about it…time to move on.

So our hope was squashed and we had no choice but to go with Plan C. Now Plan C was our least favorite plan because it involves us having to deal directly with the Jiz. Yep. We are now going to have to do same day Intracervical Inseminations. I was a nervous wreck when I sent the email to our donor asking him if he would be okay with doing same day inseminations. This change in plan means us having to do a hand-off of his swimmers at least two days in a row each month. Which means more of a time commitment for him. Our donor has a very time consuming job and I just didn’t know if this idea would fly with him. Because seriously, how convenient is it to be at work or wherever he may be and have to drop what he’s doing to go Jiz in a cup? I was totally preparing myself for a negative response considering that really wasn’t what he originally agreed to.

The wait was awful but luckily he replied to us that night saying that he was okay with the new plan. He said the same thing that Les and I said when we realized that we were going with PlanC, “The handoffs will be a little awkward but we can make it work.” It was so nice to know that we were on the same page. I don’t know how to put into words how much I appreciate him being willing to do this for us. This guy is willing to give us a gift that will change our lives forever. We can never say thank you enough.

So here I am…hopeful, antsy, excited, nervous, etc. all at the same time. We’re looking on the bright side of going to PlanC… using fresh swimmers will work to our advantage and we’ll be pregnant soon. I start my clomid today on day 4 of my cycle and will take it for 5 days…should ovulate and inseminate exactly 7 days later! Wow! We are 2 weeks away from starting the process. So much hard work! Please God let it pay off this time!

~M

artificial insemination, donor, fertility, infertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, intrauterine insemination, IUI, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC, Uncategorized

You thought wrong…

Just when you think that things are going to be easier you get the news that you thought wrong. I called the clinic last week to schedule an appointment for our donor to come in and donate. They started setting up the appointment and everything seemed to be rolling right along. Then I said to her, “We’ll be doing our next insemination at the end of Feb…everything will be ready by then right?” Well that’s where I was SO wrong. She says to me, “Oh… No, they have to be in Quarantine for 6 months.” There’s that word again….Quarentine. I said, “You have got to be kidding me… 6 Months?” Well she was not joking at all. I didn’t know what else to say so I told her I would call back to set something up once I had talked to Les and processed all of the info.

That news came as a Big Blow. I had no idea that when we decided to use a known donor that we would be looking at not evening being able to use our donor’s donation for half a year.  We can’t wait that long to start trying again. It’s been hard enough having to take a break but I can’t imagine having to wait 6 more months. I don’t know what to do!!!

~M