lesbian, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, pregnancy, pregnant, third trimester, two moms, ultrasound, Uncategorized, V-bac

The Home Stretch

This Friday marks 30 weeks. I must confess that this hasn’t felt like it’s flown by at all. It’s felt like it’s creeping along. But finally feel like we’re in the home stretch.

I’ve felt huge this pregnancy and at my 28 week visit I went from measuring right on track to measuring 4 weeks ahead of where I am! He said he wants to do an ultrasound next visit to see how big she is. So we shall see if we are going to be having a big baby this time!

After discussing it with our doctor we’ve decided to try to have a vaginal delivery instead of just scheduling a c-section. He said that I’m a great candidate for a V-bac because I was able to have a vaginal birth with my first birth, so we know my body can do it. Now if we find out that she’s an extra big girl those plans may change but we’ll see. I’m a little nervous about some of the complications that can come along with a v-bac but he’s assured me that he’s never had the complications that we’re concerned about and he wouldn’t risk my health. We trust his judgement and just hope that everything goes smoothly.

She is a very active little lady and I just can’t wait to meet her and see her face. After letting some of our closest friends and family help with picking a name we have officially settled in on one and I am so excited! Her name will be Quinn!

Below I added some pictures from our Christmas break. Les got a little over two weeks off from school and we couldn’t be happier to have her all to ourselves for the break. Of course we haven’t done anything exciting, mostly enjoyed relaxing. Stayed with my parents for the two weeks so it’s not like being at home but we’ve enjoyed seeing our family and friends while we have the time.
Christmas was wonderful and so much fun this year. Noah enjoyed opening his own gifts. Christmas morning he opened his dinosaur first and wanted nothing to do with any other gifts…took quite a while to convince him to even look at anything else. Nate being a teenager now got mostly clothes but was still up early ready to open gifts. I guess no matter how old they get they will always love getting presents.
And our New Years Eve party was a blast we spent the night with two of our closest couple friends and enjoyed watching our kiddos run around.
I’m happy to have Christmas and New Years behind us and looking forward to what 2015 has in store for our little family!

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home insemination, ICI, insemination, known donor, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, two week wait, tww

The Deed is Done

All went well last weekend. I literally had to remind myself we were inseminating the next day when I was leaving for work Friday night. All goes to show that this time is very different from the last. I left work Sat morning and arrived at his house all of 5 mins later. Which seems really odd to me that he lives so close and I had no idea. He text me at 7:58 to let me know it was ready and I hustled up the three flights of stairs to his door to find our stuff sitting there waiting in a Whole Foods bag. Back to the car I went where I immediately place the sterile cup with our swimmers between my legs and sped home. Exactly 22 mins later the deed was done and I was there it that old familiar position, legs in the air, until my feet were completely asleep. Went to bed for the day feeling good about it. Woke up that afternoon and did the whole thing over again. Work, pick up, inseminate and sleep.
Les said I was way less intense this go round. I didn’t get pissy or short with her. Didn’t make her feel rushed and frazzled like before so that’s a good thing!
Now we’re in our two week wait! One week down with one week to go. Trying not to think about it and keep busy. I’ll have news either way really soon.

gay family, known donor, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, Uncategorized

We’re Ready

We talked to our donor and he’s willing to do the same day insemination again. He said that it wasn’t an inconvenience and didn’t mind doing it like we did last time. We are super relieved and excited that he said yes so now I guess we’re ready to get started! The only thing I’m really worried about is the tight time window that we have to work with. We only have two months to try to conceive this time. I know that we may not be as lucky as we were last time with Noah. As of right now we are planning on trying in June and July. We will be living in Nashville for the summer so it will be easy to plan but if it doesn’t take either of those months then we will have to wait until Nov and Dec to try again. : (

I am doing my best to think positively but I find myself not wanting to get my hopes up either. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and if we aren’t succesful this summer it will be okay.

Well I guess that’s the only update I have for now…

I’ve added some pictures from Easter Sunday. Our boys looked especially handsome and I am so happy with the pictures we got that day! : )

 

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baby boy, gay family, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, two moms, Uncategorized

5 Months Old

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Posting Noah’s 5 month update a little late but this has been a crazy couple of weeks. Noah is such a joy. He has some new loves now that he is 5 months old.

…eating fruit! Apples, Pears, Bananas, and Peaches are our current favs. I can’t seem to feed him fast enough. He gets really huffy and fusses when I don’t get the spoon back to his mouth…he can down a whole bowl of fruit with a little oatmeal in no time!

…his feet! If they aren’t covered you can bet he’s holding them. He’s even managed to get his toes in his mouth.

…rolling over! Noah is a rolling machine. Diaper changes are more difficult now and there is no more unattended naps on the couch or bed.

…being tickled! Oh boy! We have one ticklish little one on our hand. He laughs when you tickle his tummy, under his chin and his feet!

…strolling in the park! Now that spring and sprung we are out and strolling almost daily. If Noah is fussy or restless I can strap him in his stroller and before we’ve made it out of the driveway his content!

…babbling and squealing! Talk about cute! It is cutie overload when he starts babbling on and on. He gets excited and squeals so loud! He has us all laughing all the time now that he’s so vocal!

equality, gay family, gay rights, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, rainbow family\, supportive, Uncategorized

Throwing Stones at Our Own

I came across a post on the Curve Magazine Facebook page of a young couple holding a fundraiser to help them pay for their baby making process. This is a young couple that lives in Denver, CO and from what I gathered they are photographers. They are offering “perks” for donations and are trying to raise $6,500. I smiled when I saw this thinking to myself…”This is pretty clever. We should have thought of a fundraiser!” Then I started slowly scrolling through the comments and was shocked and saddened by what I read… “If they want a baby shouldn’t they be able to afford one on their own? Just my opinion”, “Wait till you have to pay childcare, ladies. If you can’t afford a baby now, the cost of raising one is really going to shock you.”, “If you can’t afford to make it you probably can’t afford to support it.”, “I find this to be an odd way to have a child….children are expensive if you can’t afford to produce one how can you afford to raise one?”, “even though I already commented I just had to come back to say that NO ONE should give money to this..stop the madness!!!”… Now, I remind you that these are all other lesbians. So just because this couple decided to seek help in raising the money for their attempts we should assume that they can’t afford to raise a child or deserve one?!? Wow! What is wrong with our community AND When did we become so hateful to each other? Is it just me or do you not feel that we as lesbians need to be supportive of each other in our efforts to start families. Now of course I don’t expect everyone to donate money to their cause but at least support the fact that a loving couple is excited to start their own family and wish them well. These people with the negative comments are acting like because they are holding this fundraiser that they are saying they can’t afford a child. They’re NOT asking for help in raising their child, they’re simply creating a fundraiser to help with their attempts to get pregnant. I’ve known more than one straight couple that has held a fundraiser to help with the expenses of adoption and no one throws stones at them. No one assumes that they don’t have the money to pay for the child once its theirs. Why are we throwing stones at our own?

Raising a baby is not ALL about money. Yes, children cost money (I know. I have two of them.) but they aren’t as crazy expensive as everyone’s comments are making them out to be. You can find ways to save money and afford the essentials. Most of all a baby needs love, attention, stability and I’m sure this couple can handle that.

We have a whole new generation of LGBT who see that we deserve to have families just like straight couples! Twenty years ago most gay and lesbian couples never even thought of trying to have children…now its 2013 and we live in a whole new world of access and availability to try to start families. Straight couples can get pregnant without a penny spent. They have an unlimited supply of sperm and can try whenever they want to. And I would dare say that many of them aren’t financially prepared. I would like to see how many capable straight couples would be getting pregnant if they had to come up with $1000 a month to try!

I am so disappointed in the reactions that these girls received. Most of you know how costly it is to make a baby in our world. Most of you saved up for months and maybe years to do so. I know Les and I had to stop trying at one point because we ran out of money. What is so wrong with this couple just asking for help?!? If a stranger wants and can afford to donate to their cause then good for them! Some may think it’s odd or weird but who cares! Don’t give if you don’t want to give. Scroll past if you don’t support them but why send out these nasty messages to them. What ever happened to…”If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all.” ?

We live in a world with so much hate directed at the LGBT community. We are battling daily for equality. We long for the day that our marriages are recognized and we are seen as equal. We want to put a stop to the hate that we face but yet we are turning on our own people!

“You must BE the change that you want to see in the World!”- Gandhi

Here is a link to Jennie and Heather’s Fundraiser if you’d like to take a peek… http://igg.me/at/babycrate/x/2660086

gay adoption, gay family, gay rights, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, parental rights, second parent adoption, State adoption laws, Uncategorized

Adopting Our Own Child

When we decided we wanted to have a baby we agreed that we both wanted to both be legally Noah’s parents. We live in a state where we can do a 2nd Parent Adoption. This will allow Les’s name to be put on Noah’s birth certificate and she would legally be just as much his mother as I am. So we met with our attorney a few weeks before Noah was born to talk about what we needed to do to get the ball rolling. We found that this process was not going to be as easy as we had hoped. This was going to be not only expensive but time-consuming. We are required to go through a home study just as if we were adopting a child from China. It feels weird going through the motions to essentially adopt your own child. The home study is costly and you are handed a stack of paper work that needs to be completed. We were told that were couldn’t even meet with the social worker until he was a few months old and that we can’t apply for the adoption until he is 6 months old. In the meeting with the social worker we were handed a list of things that had to be done. The list of things required is long…background checks, finger prints by the TBI, police background reports, letters from friends, family and our doctors, family medical history, proof of employment, all of our financial information, a lengthy self evaluation, two visits to our home, at least one individual interview with her and I’m sure more that has slipped my mind at the moment. We have so much on our plates right now but we don’t want this to be pushed onto a back burner. It is very important for us to do this to protect us and Noah.
One part of me wants to be angry with the process. One part of me wants to point out that there are hundreds of thousands of unfit parents in the world that do not have to jump through the hoops that we do. But the wiser part of me says NO…be thankful. Be thankful that we are able to have her adopt him. Just be thankful that we will be protected. Be thankful because we are blessed to be the mommies of one precious little boy. So I’m Thankful.

~M