lesbian, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, pregnancy, pregnant, third trimester, two moms, ultrasound, Uncategorized, V-bac

The Home Stretch

This Friday marks 30 weeks. I must confess that this hasn’t felt like it’s flown by at all. It’s felt like it’s creeping along. But finally feel like we’re in the home stretch.

I’ve felt huge this pregnancy and at my 28 week visit I went from measuring right on track to measuring 4 weeks ahead of where I am! He said he wants to do an ultrasound next visit to see how big she is. So we shall see if we are going to be having a big baby this time!

After discussing it with our doctor we’ve decided to try to have a vaginal delivery instead of just scheduling a c-section. He said that I’m a great candidate for a V-bac because I was able to have a vaginal birth with my first birth, so we know my body can do it. Now if we find out that she’s an extra big girl those plans may change but we’ll see. I’m a little nervous about some of the complications that can come along with a v-bac but he’s assured me that he’s never had the complications that we’re concerned about and he wouldn’t risk my health. We trust his judgement and just hope that everything goes smoothly.

She is a very active little lady and I just can’t wait to meet her and see her face. After letting some of our closest friends and family help with picking a name we have officially settled in on one and I am so excited! Her name will be Quinn!

Below I added some pictures from our Christmas break. Les got a little over two weeks off from school and we couldn’t be happier to have her all to ourselves for the break. Of course we haven’t done anything exciting, mostly enjoyed relaxing. Stayed with my parents for the two weeks so it’s not like being at home but we’ve enjoyed seeing our family and friends while we have the time.
Christmas was wonderful and so much fun this year. Noah enjoyed opening his own gifts. Christmas morning he opened his dinosaur first and wanted nothing to do with any other gifts…took quite a while to convince him to even look at anything else. Nate being a teenager now got mostly clothes but was still up early ready to open gifts. I guess no matter how old they get they will always love getting presents.
And our New Years Eve party was a blast we spent the night with two of our closest couple friends and enjoyed watching our kiddos run around.
I’m happy to have Christmas and New Years behind us and looking forward to what 2015 has in store for our little family!

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home insemination, ICI, insemination, known donor, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, two week wait, tww

The Deed is Done

All went well last weekend. I literally had to remind myself we were inseminating the next day when I was leaving for work Friday night. All goes to show that this time is very different from the last. I left work Sat morning and arrived at his house all of 5 mins later. Which seems really odd to me that he lives so close and I had no idea. He text me at 7:58 to let me know it was ready and I hustled up the three flights of stairs to his door to find our stuff sitting there waiting in a Whole Foods bag. Back to the car I went where I immediately place the sterile cup with our swimmers between my legs and sped home. Exactly 22 mins later the deed was done and I was there it that old familiar position, legs in the air, until my feet were completely asleep. Went to bed for the day feeling good about it. Woke up that afternoon and did the whole thing over again. Work, pick up, inseminate and sleep.
Les said I was way less intense this go round. I didn’t get pissy or short with her. Didn’t make her feel rushed and frazzled like before so that’s a good thing!
Now we’re in our two week wait! One week down with one week to go. Trying not to think about it and keep busy. I’ll have news either way really soon.

artificial insemination, home insemination, ICI, insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian family, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, two moms, Uncategorized

It’s time!

It’s time! We will be inseminating this weekend. I can’t believe that it’s here already and we will be starting this roller coaster over again. Right now I don’t feel any stress and pressure but I know its coming. I have a distant memory of the disappointment and sadness that I felt when we weren’t successful. I can tell you that I am not looking forward to revisiting those feelings again. I’m hoping that maybe this time I will be too busy chasing after Noah and keeping up with all that Nathan has going on this summer to be bummed out if we aren’t successful.

So fingers crossed.

~M

gay family, known donor, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, trying to conceive, TTC, Uncategorized

We’re Ready

We talked to our donor and he’s willing to do the same day insemination again. He said that it wasn’t an inconvenience and didn’t mind doing it like we did last time. We are super relieved and excited that he said yes so now I guess we’re ready to get started! The only thing I’m really worried about is the tight time window that we have to work with. We only have two months to try to conceive this time. I know that we may not be as lucky as we were last time with Noah. As of right now we are planning on trying in June and July. We will be living in Nashville for the summer so it will be easy to plan but if it doesn’t take either of those months then we will have to wait until Nov and Dec to try again. : (

I am doing my best to think positively but I find myself not wanting to get my hopes up either. I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and if we aren’t succesful this summer it will be okay.

Well I guess that’s the only update I have for now…

I’ve added some pictures from Easter Sunday. Our boys looked especially handsome and I am so happy with the pictures we got that day! : )

 

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ICI, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians ttc, trying to conceive, TTC, Uncategorized

Spring is Here!!!

I have never been so happy for it to be Spring! This has been the coldest winter I have ever endured. I am so happy the weather is finally warming up and the earth is going to be GREEN again! We were lucky enough that Leslie and Nathan had the same Spring Break this year so we packed up on Friday after Les’s exam and headed to Nashville. I scheduled  appointments with Noah’s pediatrician and our RE while we were in town.

On Monday we hit the ground running. Noah had his 15 month check up a month late. Bless his little heart he at 16 months weighs 23 pounds and is 30.5 inches tall. He was below average in both categories 20th percentile for weight and 16th percentile for height. Nathan was exactly the same way so no real surprise to me anyway. During the visit he wasn’t exactly his charming self. He screamed anytime the doctor or nurse touched him. He was a hot mess to say the least! I guess he felt the impending doom of the shots coming from the time we walked in the door. But we made it through the shots and he survived. The only concern that we talked about was that he isn’t using real words yet. They usually have approximately 3 words by 16 months and Noah’s not there yet. He can say Bye-Bye and Yay. But those are the only words that he’s saying. And signing words doesn’t count. So we’re going to keep working with him and I think we’re going to start a Mother’s Day Out kind of program in May. Just two days a week for 4-5 hours. It’ll be good for him.

So after his appointment we went to see our RE who happens to have his new office in the same building. Of course Noah passed out in the waiting room before we had a chance to show him off to our favorite doctor and his staff. My check up went well then we had the chance to talk to him about how we were ready to start things up again. We discussed having him write an order for the fertility clinic to collect and store the sperm from our donor. He said he’s willing to do whatever we need but suggested to save money that we just try to do same day fresh insemination with our donor again. Considering that is how we got pregnant last time he just thinks that it may be the best way to try again this time. So I’m going to contact our donor to see if he’d be willing to do it that way again. Fingers crossed if he says yes and we can hopefully give it a try in June and July!

 

 

gay family, known donor, lesbian, lesbian family, lesbian moms, lesbians ttc, LGBT, sperm donors, TTC, two moms, Uncategorized

Starting Down That Road Again

We’ve started talking about having another baby. Just typing the words out seem crazy considering Noah just turned one! But as many of you understand this is not a quick process and it takes lots of planning to even get to the point of actually trying. I started a To Do list of things that we need to get done to get the ball rolling. The earliest we would even try is late summer so we’re 6 to 7 months out but there is so much to do.

First on my list was to contact Noah’s donor to see if he would be willing to donate for us again. As some of you know, we used a known donor that we found through a website. The last time we spoke with him was when I was 9 months pregnant asking him to go to our attorney’s office to sign paperwork concerning  terminating his parental rights to Noah. So to say the least it had been a while and I was insanely nervous about contacting him.

A few weeks ago I sat down and wrote out an email to him. I spent hours typing, deleting, typing then deleting again. I thanked him for giving Les and I the chance to be parents together. I told him how much we loved and adored Noah. I told him how much he had changed our lives. You would have thought that I had written a novel considering how long it took me but nope just three paragraphs. Finally finished with my request and of course I was too afraid to hit the send button. I went back to it the next day and edited some more but still could not bring myself to hit send. I’m not scared of him but I was terrified that his answer would be no and I would be crushed. I know that he has a very busy schedule and donating takes time. I was worried that he just might be in a different place in his life and just not be willing to do it again. A week went by and I finally pulled the email back up read through it several times and forced myself to hit send.

I didn’t check my email for a few days not expecting a response. When I finally did there it was… my answer. I nervously read through the email. I read his words congratulating us on our healthy boy and our happiness. Then there it was it a perfect sentence. “I would be happy to donate again.” Tears began to flow without reserve. I am so thrilled about his response and actually feel silly now for worrying so much.

So the ball is rolling but there is still so much to do!

~M

equality, gay family, gay rights, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, lesbians ttc, LGBT, rainbow family\, supportive, Uncategorized

Throwing Stones at Our Own

I came across a post on the Curve Magazine Facebook page of a young couple holding a fundraiser to help them pay for their baby making process. This is a young couple that lives in Denver, CO and from what I gathered they are photographers. They are offering “perks” for donations and are trying to raise $6,500. I smiled when I saw this thinking to myself…”This is pretty clever. We should have thought of a fundraiser!” Then I started slowly scrolling through the comments and was shocked and saddened by what I read… “If they want a baby shouldn’t they be able to afford one on their own? Just my opinion”, “Wait till you have to pay childcare, ladies. If you can’t afford a baby now, the cost of raising one is really going to shock you.”, “If you can’t afford to make it you probably can’t afford to support it.”, “I find this to be an odd way to have a child….children are expensive if you can’t afford to produce one how can you afford to raise one?”, “even though I already commented I just had to come back to say that NO ONE should give money to this..stop the madness!!!”… Now, I remind you that these are all other lesbians. So just because this couple decided to seek help in raising the money for their attempts we should assume that they can’t afford to raise a child or deserve one?!? Wow! What is wrong with our community AND When did we become so hateful to each other? Is it just me or do you not feel that we as lesbians need to be supportive of each other in our efforts to start families. Now of course I don’t expect everyone to donate money to their cause but at least support the fact that a loving couple is excited to start their own family and wish them well. These people with the negative comments are acting like because they are holding this fundraiser that they are saying they can’t afford a child. They’re NOT asking for help in raising their child, they’re simply creating a fundraiser to help with their attempts to get pregnant. I’ve known more than one straight couple that has held a fundraiser to help with the expenses of adoption and no one throws stones at them. No one assumes that they don’t have the money to pay for the child once its theirs. Why are we throwing stones at our own?

Raising a baby is not ALL about money. Yes, children cost money (I know. I have two of them.) but they aren’t as crazy expensive as everyone’s comments are making them out to be. You can find ways to save money and afford the essentials. Most of all a baby needs love, attention, stability and I’m sure this couple can handle that.

We have a whole new generation of LGBT who see that we deserve to have families just like straight couples! Twenty years ago most gay and lesbian couples never even thought of trying to have children…now its 2013 and we live in a whole new world of access and availability to try to start families. Straight couples can get pregnant without a penny spent. They have an unlimited supply of sperm and can try whenever they want to. And I would dare say that many of them aren’t financially prepared. I would like to see how many capable straight couples would be getting pregnant if they had to come up with $1000 a month to try!

I am so disappointed in the reactions that these girls received. Most of you know how costly it is to make a baby in our world. Most of you saved up for months and maybe years to do so. I know Les and I had to stop trying at one point because we ran out of money. What is so wrong with this couple just asking for help?!? If a stranger wants and can afford to donate to their cause then good for them! Some may think it’s odd or weird but who cares! Don’t give if you don’t want to give. Scroll past if you don’t support them but why send out these nasty messages to them. What ever happened to…”If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all.” ?

We live in a world with so much hate directed at the LGBT community. We are battling daily for equality. We long for the day that our marriages are recognized and we are seen as equal. We want to put a stop to the hate that we face but yet we are turning on our own people!

“You must BE the change that you want to see in the World!”- Gandhi

Here is a link to Jennie and Heather’s Fundraiser if you’d like to take a peek… http://igg.me/at/babycrate/x/2660086