It’s Official

Well its official the Doc says I’m 100% pregnant. Not that I didn’t already know it but hearing it from him makes us feel better! Bright and early this morning we went to my appointment. While in the waiting room our doctor’s nurse came to get another patient and spotted us. She gave us a big grin and said, “Hey Ladies! So happy to see you guys! Can’t wait to hear how this came about!”. We were called back  a few mins later and of course she wants to know how this all happened. So I give her the quick run down about how we had decided we couldn’t wait the 6 months for the clinic. Ordered everything online that we needed for the home insemination. Picked up the fresh swimmers from our donor 2 days in a row. Then did the inseminations ourselves. She just kept saying, “He is just going to die when he hears this news! This is amazing! I’m so excited!” Ha! It was so sweet. So our 3rd Wheel pokes his head around the corner while I was still sitting at the nurses desk answering questions and he has this big smile on his face. She says to him, “You’ll never believe what they did! They ordered stuff online and did the insemination at home and now they’re pregnant!” He leaned in and gave us both a High-Five, says Congrats and tells us we’ll have to give him all the details once he sees us in the exam room. So a few mins later we’re back in a room and he comes into talk to us. He got a little confused on the details with our insemination and thought that we had done an IUI by ourselves at home! Ha! No Way! It was much easier for him to let everything make sense when we told him that we did ICI at home. We did a quick run down of possible due date and right now he’s saying Nov 15th!!! We were too early to do an ultrasound but have one scheduled in 2 weeks. We discussed all the do’s & don’ts. In that discussion I received the best news ever! I can drink coffee!!!! I mean he said not to go overboard but 1 or 2 cups a day is fine. Sweet Lord… 1 cup is all I need!!! I was so excited I wanted to jump off the exam table and give him a hug! So we left there feeling so lucky and happy to have a doctor and nursing staff that is so supportive of us.

Now on to my other latest business. Last night I decided to tell my little man the big news while he and I were having a Momma & Son dessert date on the couch. Originally Les and I planned to tell him together but last night I couldn’t wait any longer.  She was at work and I just really wanted to tell him. So I said, “Well I’ve got a big surprise for you. You’re……going…..to be…………(Long pause where he and I both kept laughing bc he said I was smiling funny)……a Big Brother!” It was the best reaction ever! You could see it all over his face! He was so excited! He gave me a big hug and said, “I want a brother please. I’m already outnumbered in the house I need another boy to balance things out.” Ha! So cute! I just adore that boy! He wants to tell everyone now. He wanted to be the ones to tell my parents which was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders! Ha! I said sure thing buddy of course you can be the one to tell them. My parents invited us over for dinner so it was the perfect time to go ahead and do it. Les had to work so it was just us two over there and he couldn’t even wait until we sat down to eat. He told them kinda like I told him. He said, “So, Nana and Big Daddy, I’ve got some big news for you. I’m…(pause)….going to be………(pause)….. a Big Brother!” To my amazement they we actually happy, smiling and excited to hear the news! Score! What an awesome feeling?!? They asked a few questions about how far along I was and other little stuff but both kept saying that they we happy and excited for us. Such a relief!

Wow…I am just overwhelmed with all of the love and support that we’re getting right now. I can’t even begin to explain how great it feels to have people happy and excited for me that I’m pregnant. My first pregnancy was not like this at all. I know that it was because of how young I was and because it was very unplanned but there was no celebration when I told the news. I felt ashamed most of the time that I was pregnant and its so great to feel like this is something to be proud of now. Wow….just feels like a dream. So happy that I feel like I could burst!

~M

Liebster Blog Award

Wow! I was honored to receive a Liebster Blog Award by one awesome fellow blogger who is also TTC. Red Nelly, I want to say thank you so much for the recognition. It is much appreciated. I never knew when I started this blog that people would read it, much less enjoy reading it. I love adding humor to our story because this process is stressful and emotional. Lighten the mood with the funny stuff and laughing about all the crazy experiences helps get us through it. Thanks again for honoring me with this award. You can find Red Nelly’s blog at http://nhsbaby.wordpress.com/ . She has a great blog totally worth checking out.

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The Liebster Blog Award is a bit like a really lovely chain letter.  It works like this:

  1. Say thanks to the blogger who nominated you, and link back to them.
  2. List 5 fab blogs with fewer than 200 followers that you feel deserve the Liebster Award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
  3. Copy and paste the award to your blog.
  4. Hope that the 5 people you’ve picked are tickled enough to pass the award onto their 5 Favorites!

With all of that said… I’d like to pass on Liebsters to 5 blogs that I love and a few that I’ve recently found.

1. Bangkok Baby Project: This is a lovely couple living in Bangkok and they are TTC…I’ve been following their story for a while and feel like I know them. Their story helps my wife and I not feel alone. http://lesroxxbangkok.wordpress.com/

2. The “B” Project: A sweet military couple who recently conceived. Love their story because it gives me hope that it will work for us too! http://babycravings.wordpress.com/

3. Olivia’s View: This women does an amazing job of addressing anything and everything one could want to know about Donor conception. Her blog has a wealth of information for anyone using a donor to conceive. http://oliviasview.wordpress.com/

4. 2012 a Conception Odyssey: Just found this sweet couples story. They are in the very beginning of their journey to conceive and already jumping hurdles. I’m excited to get the chance to start following their journey. Check their story out at  http://2012aconceptionodyssey.wordpress.com/

5. Beautiful Photographs: This is an amazing photography blog that I absolutely love. Mary Meghan Mabus is the talented photographer out of Tupelo, MS and I have been dear friends with her since I was 12 years old. She shot our wedding in P-town and will one day shoot pictures of future babies! Her blog is a must see! http://mwptupelo.com/

You thought wrong…

Just when you think that things are going to be easier you get the news that you thought wrong. I called the clinic last week to schedule an appointment for our donor to come in and donate. They started setting up the appointment and everything seemed to be rolling right along. Then I said to her, “We’ll be doing our next insemination at the end of Feb…everything will be ready by then right?” Well that’s where I was SO wrong. She says to me, “Oh… No, they have to be in Quarantine for 6 months.” There’s that word again….Quarentine. I said, “You have got to be kidding me… 6 Months?” Well she was not joking at all. I didn’t know what else to say so I told her I would call back to set something up once I had talked to Les and processed all of the info.

That news came as a Big Blow. I had no idea that when we decided to use a known donor that we would be looking at not evening being able to use our donor’s donation for half a year.  We can’t wait that long to start trying again. It’s been hard enough having to take a break but I can’t imagine having to wait 6 more months. I don’t know what to do!!!

~M

2012 is HERE!

Wow its been a while since I’ve sat down to write! The holidays were crazy busy! What a great Christmas with my family and Leslie’s family! We seemed to go non-stop the whole time but enjoyed every minute of it. New Years was a great time too. We had so much fun celebrating the end of 2011 with our friends. Leslie said she had never seen me so silly…I guess had a little too much fun thanks to a bottle of wine. Ha! But we agreed that I deserved a last night of fun before we get going again. Now I can say that we are really excited about what 2012 holds for our family!

During our little break it was nice to be free of the stress but I’m ready to start-up this process again. Things will be different from the last go round. We’ve found a known donor and are so excited that he is willing to help us out. He is ready to donate as soon as we’ve finalized the paperwork and set up a time with the fertility clinic. I plan on working to get all of that going this week so he can get into the clinic asap! Keeping our fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly we are hoping to do an insemination at the end of February.

Looks like we’re back in the groove!

~M

Taking Applications

We have been thinking a lot about our options of a donor. We have discussed at length the cost of staying with Xytex. For 3 months worth of trying, the little swimmers alone were around $3000, and then our doctor is a whole other charge. (Decided to change my terminology from Jiz to little swimmers…I guess it sounds less crude) We know that when using a Xytex for our donor we have the opportunity to look at them like it’s a job interview. Their donor profiles give you great insight to who they are and their medical background. We really like how they operate, and we have already had a good experience with them but….. the cost in using them is going to be a burden. Now if we would’ve had success during the past 3 months this would be a non-issue but looking to the future and knowing that we could have 2, 3 or even 4 more tries before we get pregnant we just aren’t sure what to do about the cost. So this is where we decided to think outside the box.

We started tossing the idea around of trying to find a donor that we know but aren’t close to.  From the start I thought I’d never want to do it this way, but hearing other people’s stories and good experiences has made us begin to reconsider this option. We know that we would want to have very little interaction with the donor. He would go to the doctor’s office where we store our swimmers, just “drop his off”, and they would handle the rest. We would want to avoid the awkwardness at all cost! The paper work would be already drawn up relieving them of any obligation and parental rights prior to all this happening. It would really be no different from the process that we’ve been going through already except we’d know his name and maybe know him personally and the best part– we wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars on swimmers. Now tell me that it doesn’t sound very appealing!

But so much goes into finding a donor that you “know”. We wouldn’t want someone we are close friends with. We wouldn’t want someone who we would see or run into on a regular basis. Now if they live here in the Nashville area it may be okay considering there is a good chance that we will be moving out-of-state this summer. But the task of finding someone who is willing to donate isn’t easy.

I mean this guy has to really think about what he’s doing because its kinda a Big Deal. Okay now on a more serious note… he has to be willing to donate knowing that he will have no parental role in this child’s life. It is just a “gift”. It’s the most amazing generous gift that you could ever give to a couple who is desperately wanting a child. The idea of having a healthy, smart, funny, good-looking, normal guy donate to “our cause” for free seems too good to be true, but there is a chance. And we have no idea what is going to happen. Who knows?

So that’s it. We are now open to the idea of using someone we “know”. Really don’t know anyone right now that we would ask. I think we should try to sit down and make out a list. Or maybe just put it out there to the world that we are taking applications. Announcement: The Terrell’s are Taking Applications. Thanks.

~M

Pause the Process

It happened. I started. It sucked. I hate that the insemination didn’t work but I know we did everything that was within our own power right and it just wasnt meant to happen this time. I’m really sad that we have to take a break from trying but we really don’t have a choice. If Les gets into school for 2012 then we have to be ready and able to move at the end of July and me being really far along in a pregnancy would mean us not being able to do that.

We’re going back to the drawing board to look for a new donor. Yes I know, I know…we spent all that time finding and deciding on Hot Guy only to abandon him after 3 tries. But we are looking at a few other options and we have a few months to figure that out.

So it is what it is and the baby making process is paused. I’m trying to think of this as a much needed break from the stress I’ve been under. I know I’m going to need a distraction or somewhere else to focus my attention for a little while so I started filling out our calendar for November and thanks to Nathan’s basketball schedule I won’t have much time to be sad about not being pregnant I’ll be lucky if I can keep up with everything we have to do.

~M

Back to Back

Monday morning bright and early I woke up, took my daily ovulation test and just like the day before I had a faint positive. Les was reluctant for us to go in for the appointment without a for sure positive knowing that this is our last month to try. We arrive and they put us in our regular room. Our favorite 3rd Wheel enters the room to chat with us about events of the past month, the meds I took and ovulation symptoms. He said that he thinks we should go ahead with the insemination because even if the egg hasn’t popped out yet we know it will very soon and the little swimmers will be there waiting on it when it arrives.  Once I’m on the table there is the familiar knock at the door and he comes in with a new face in tow. This newbie was eager to help and watch. Ha! I swear I thought she was going to come over his back trying to see this procedure…obviously a first for her! All finished they left the room with me laying with my head down and the lights off so I could relax…we did our 20 mins then packed up to leave knowing we’d be back in less than 24 hours for our last try.

The next morning bright and earlier than the day before I drop Nathan off at school early and head up to Dr. Macey’s office to meet Les. She worked the night before so we planned to meet there. I asked her to go and pick up the vial for us at the storage office. Well, let me just say what a huge mistake that was! I receive a call from Anita as I’m pulling into the doctor’s office parking lot…Anita: “Hello Melissa. You didn’t tell me you were having someone pick up the vial for you.” Me: “Oh I’m sorry that’s my wife Leslie. She’s on my account paperwork.” Anita: “Well I’m sorry but you’re the one listed on the vial as the patient so legally I can only give it to you or someone else with written authorization.” Then she proceeds to tell me I could fax her an authorization…Ummm, Les just told you I’m in the car, lady!!  Well folks that did it. It sent Les over the edge.  Les was livid that Anita was rude and offensive. Not only was the policy itself offensive when my own wife couldn’t pick up the sperm to make OUR baby, but the lady looked at her like she had 3 heads when Les told her why she was there instead of me. So my only option was to turn around and go get it myself. Thank God I was only 5 mins away. Geez. I guess we’re lucky all Les did was barge out of the office yelling “This is just F-ing ridiculous!”

Once we were able to make it to the office we proceeded with the same routine as the day before. The newbie nurse from the day before was there trying to quietly explain (Her quite voice isn’t so quite bc I heard her loud and clear) to another new face what she needed to do to assist with our insemination. The knock at the door came and in comes our 3rd wheel with the new nurse. I said to him you just have all kinds of new nurses and introduce myself and Leslie to her. She tells us she wasn’t really new that she normally works on the other side of the office and she was just helping out today. I thought to myself yeah right…You know you’ve never seen this before and are dying to watch. Well either way it was fine with us. She seemed sweet and way friendlier than the newbie from the day before. We go through the whole routine again and all goes well again. When he’s all finished he talks to us for a minute, wishes us the best of luck and tells us how hopeful he is.

We make it home and I feel pretty worn out. I’m crampy and uncomfortable so I lay down to rest. I sleep most of the day and night, feeling guilty for not being up doing things around the house. I can’t explain how it feels other than it doesn’t feel good. I’m not sure if other people have the same experience as I do but for me it’s just not fun. Then after a day of rest Wed rolls around and I’m feeling 100% again. So we did it…back to back and gave it our best shot. Nothing we can do now but wait and hope for the best!

~M

Third Times a Charm???

I keep hearing the phrase “Third times a charm” when I tell people we’ll be trying again next week and I just wanted to know what in the heck it means. So I used Mr. Google and found the meaning and history of the phrase.

Meaning: The belief that the third time something is attempted is more likely to succeed than the previous two attempts. It is also used as a good luck charm – spoken just before trying something for the third time.

History: Beginning in the 19th century, the most common reason alludes to the belief that, under English law, anyone who survived three attempts at hanging would be set free.

So yes we are hoping to survive this time. Well not survive a hanging of course but hoping that we are successful with our baby-making process. We have our scheduled appointments for early Monday and Tuesday morning. Two days of back to back insemination… I’m not sure if I’ll be able to handle all the excitement. I know there is bound to be some craziness to tell so stay tuned…

~M

Whose baby is it anyway?

I’ve been asked so many times about what our family dynamics are going to be once the baby comes and about Les’s rights as a parent considering I will be the one carrying the baby.

This is another one of those situations where straight couples have it very easy. When a guy sleeps with a girl and oops!, she ends up pregnant…no one would question that guys parental rights to the baby. When a straight couple that is dating or married find themselves pregnant yet again no one would dare question that man’s parental rights to the baby. But in our case, Les and I have been together for over four years and we are legally married in the state of Massachusetts, but when I have a baby my wife will have no parental rights to our child until we take legal action to make that happen. So not that the process of getting pregnant for lesbians isn’t hard enough, they make it even harder by making us go through the legal system in order for us both to be recognized as our child’s parents.

I’ve never been an in-your-face, flag waving, screaming for gay rights kind of girl. I rarely speak out about how I feel. I’ve never marched in a parade or stood with a sign demanding equality. Some from the gay community might even frown upon this but it is just who I am. I live my life quietly with my family in the suburbs, pay taxes just like you, abide by the laws and hope that one day our rights, not as lesbians, but as humans will one day be recognized. The right to marry the person I love and have a family with them. It frustrates me to think that Leslie and I are married and in a committed relationship trying to have a baby but when that day happens we still have to go the extra mile yet again just to have her rights as a parent recognized.

But on the bright side of things…. I am thankful for the fact that even though we still currently live in the South Eastern United States in Tennessee we do live in an state where we are allowed to do a Second Parent Adoption. “A second parent adoption is a legal procedure that allows a same-sex parent to adopt a partner’s biological or adoptive child without terminating the legal rights of the first parent.” Now I say we are allowed to do a 2nd parent adoption because there are many states where lesbian couples do not have that option available to them. For example: In the state of Florida the law prohibits ANY homosexual from adopting.

So I will live with the little rights that I do have, and be grateful that she and I have a great support system of friends around us. Les and I will use our attorney to set up and proceed with a second parent adoption so that we both have equal parental rights to our child just like it should be. But…. I do look forward to the day that lesbian couples all over the nation and all over the world can have parental rights without having to fight so damn hard for it. Okay I’m stepping of my gay soap box now….sorry for the ramblings of a Mad Lesbian Woman.

List of Gay Adoption RIghts in each state:

http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayparentingadoption/a/gaycoupleadopt.htm

http://www.lambdalegal.org/our-work/issues/marriage-relationships-family/parenting/overview-of-state-adoption.html

~M

Wait and see

Well on Monday we had Insemination #2! We picked up our vial from storage and I knew where to put it without having to be told : ) Once we had signed on the dotted line that we picked it up we headed right over for our appointment. This time we were going into it knowing what to expect which made things easier. Our 3rd Wheel entered the room with a big smile happy to see us and told us the good news that our little swimmers looked great. We had a new friend who was tagging along with him this time. She was all smiles when she came in the room behind him. I would almost bet that it was her first time to see a lesbian couple having this procedure done so I wanted her to feel welcome. I smiled really big and introduced myself and my wife. I was really trying to make sure she noticed how we were normal people and not aliens like some assume. I think she was more nervous than I was. Ha! She didn’t get too close…pretty sure she stayed fairly close to the door. Maybe it was the whole I don’t want to seem too nosey or she could have been thinking, “I don’t want your wife to think I’m staring at your “good girl” because she might beat me up” or it may have been that it was her first day and she didn’t know what to do…who knows. But I got a good vibe from her, she was very nice.

During the insemination we asked Dr. Macey a few questions about our little swimmers…How long does it take them to travel? How do they know where to go? How long do they live? He answers the questions he knew… ( thank goodness he’s not one to pretend to have an answer for everything! He’s not afraid to say “Honestly I dont know”) He tells us that the little swimmers just know to “swim up stream.” & that we have top of the line swimmers. Our new friend chimes in with, “Kind of like salmon.” Yes honey, kind of like salmon…thanks for the fish reference…it did make me laugh out loud. I reply with, “I’m just glad ours looked good and they aren’t stupid ones swimming in circles going nowhere.” She thought that was funny too : ) So I’m hoping her first IUI experience was a good one and that we made a good impression on our new friend…I’m sure we’ll be seeing her again soon and I bet she’ll look less nervous next time.

So over all the process went very well and Les was by my side the whole time holding my hand and keeping me calm. We came home right away and I pretty much camped out on the couch all night! Nathan kept me company since Les had to go to work and this time I didn’t have the bad cramps that I experienced last time so that was a relief. I had a very restful evening and woke up Tuesday feeling well rested.

Conclusions are that Les thinks that this time was a success and is super Hopeful. And I am still really unsure how I feel…not really sure what kind of vibe I’m getting just yet. Its not that I’m being Negative Nancy it is just that I’m staying balanced, focused on taking care of me and just feeling good.

So the jury is out and now we’ll just have to wait and see what happens…

~M

Balloon Popped

Well my balloon popped but I wasn’t as upset as I thought I’d be because the timing may be alright. Sunday afternoon my ovulation test was positive which means that I will be ovulating 12 to 24 hours later. Which considering it’s been at least 12 hours since my positive test I would bet money that I’m ovulating right now if it hasn’t already happened.

With our last try we jump the gun and now this time we aren’t really sure we’ll even make it in time. Now do you see what I mean by the hurry up and wait??? The egg doesn’t live forever…and they suggest you inseminate and have the sperm there waiting on the egg. But maybe we’ll do it backwards…(trying to be positive) our egg wants to get to the party first and the sperm want to be fashionably late.

So here is our game plan. (Les is asleep already so she doesn’t even know our plan yet but I’ve got it all figured out!) In the morning we are dropping Nathan off at school… battle rush hour traffic to pick up a vial of our baby making juice and then driving straight to Dr. Macey’s office. Honestly, I want to be there when the doors open. I called after the positive result but of course the office was closed…it was Sunday. So I left a message for his nurse but I can’t possibly wait on her to call me back in the morning… what if she doesn’t check her messages til noon?!? Nope can’t risk it… we’re just going to show up unannounced and that way we can get worked into his schedule ASAP!

I’m so worried now…what if we’re too late? What if my egg is gone before our little swimmers get to it? Sweet Lord this is crazy…Wish us luck. Time to get some sleep…Big day tomorrow!

~ M

To Take or Not to Take? That is the Question.

Moving forward in our little journey to have a baby we’ve decided that we could have done a few things better to increase our chances. Before our first insemination I had been charting my temps for months, then started using an ovulation kit almost a week after my period with the hopes of nailing down the exact day I ovulate. Well the day came, my temp spiked just little (by a little I mean from my base temp of 96.4 up to 96.9) and when the spike in temp happens, like our Doc said it would, that means you are ovulating. But I think we may have jumped the gun on that one and inseminated too soon…because the morning after we inseminated my temp was 97.2 and technically you ovulate about 24 hours after the spike and 97.2 is a true spike for me. So there is a good chance that we inseminated too early because we were so excited that we were ovulating and…. I have zero patience. BUT this time we are really going to be strategic about this insemination. We are watching my temps really closely and we aren’t going to do the insemination until I hit the 97 degree range.

So I called my doctor’s office to let the nurse know that we weren’t preggers since I had started my period this past weekend and that we would be soon scheduling another insemination and asked her to call in the prescription for Clomid that Dr. Macey had recommended I take. Now I know what some of you are thinking right away….oh that is the drug that makes you have multiple babies!!! Well that’s exactly what we thought about too. Les right away said “Oh No! We can not handle having more than one baby. Not going to happen. No mam.” And then I’m thinking…really I do just want ONE baby but who cares if its more than one??! Well My wife, thats who : )

So what do I do…. take it or not?

After debating it I started to look into the drug information and statistics so we could truly weigh out this whole thing. Now clomid received the multiples reputation when it was first being used but that is not exactly the norm. I’ve learned quite a bit about the drug while doing my own research and thought I would share just a couple of the interesting facts I learned about it.

“Clomid Description: Clomid (clomiphene citrate tablets USP) is an orally administered, nonsteroidal, ovulatory stimulant…” (http://www.drugs.com/pro/clomid.html)

Clomid therapy should not be administered for more than 3-6 months dependent upon many individual patient variables. Clomid studies have clearly demonstrated that pregnancy is most likely to occur during the first three months of therapy. There is little advantage to increasing the clomiphene dosage beyond that required to regulate        ovulation.” (http://www.infertilityspecialist.com/clomidft.html)

“Chances of Multiples on Clomid:  1 in 10 have Twins ______ 1 in 200 have triplets _______ 1 in 333 have Quads…” (http://www3.telus.net/tyee/multiples/3various.html )

So YES, I will be taking the Clomid. I made up my mind that I would rather take it and end up pregnant…. even if it is with more than one baby….. than not take it and end up not pregnant at all. I just feel like we need all the help we can get here.

~M

Already Blessed

Wow! Not sure where to begin this blog. I  guess the first thing I want to say is thank you to so many of you for your sweet words and support. We feel so blessed to have so many people cheering us on. The love that everyone has shown us is just overwhelming. When I started the blog I honestly never thought that people would want to read it, let alone enjoy it! So thanks for being a part of our journey and for supporting us.

Well for our latest news…Yesterday I started my period… so it’s for sure. I’m not preggers yet. I totally saw it coming though. I was an emotional wreck all weekend partially because of the lack of sleep and watching all the tributes to 9/11 victims, but overall I was just in a funk and that isnt normal for me. So I knew it was on its way.

Yeah yeah I know its disappointing for some of you to hear, but honestly I was not surprised. Like I said in the blog where I told you that we had inseminated, I really did not feel like that was it and I did not get my hopes up. Now Leslie on the other hand had a really hard and extremely stressful weekend so when I told her, she took it pretty hard. I hated to let her down, but I know she’s okay now and ready to keep moving on.

So with all that said I’ve felt like I needed to say how lucky we are already. We are excited about the possibility of becoming mommies of a new baby but I’ve made a promise to myself to never forget that Leslie and I are already blessed to have the experience of raising a child. I have an 11 yr old son, Nathan, that Leslie has helped me raise for four years now. He always keeps us super busy and even though it isn’t his fault, he seems to keep us somewhat separated from the lesbian community. Now it’s not because he doesn’t like lesbians because his last two girl crushes have been on friends of ours that are lesbians and he loves to hang out with our friends. But the reason he keeps us at a distance is due to the fact that it is still not acceptable to bring your kid to a bar! Really? Come on! I tried multiple times to pass him off as a little person and it hasn’t yet to work! Ha! No really I’m kidding…We wouldn’t take him to the bar with us even if we could! But the reality is that the majority of our friends don’t have children and our friends that are trying to have babies don’t already have children either. So I’ll refuse to let it get me down if I don’t end up pregnant because I am a mom, Leslie is a step-mom and we are already so blessed.

Thanks again for all the support! Insemination #2 here we come!

~M

Now I Know Why Patience is a Virtue

Well we finally did it. Its taken me a week to write about it but it was kinda a sensitive topic around the house because Les wasn’t sure how she felt about me announcing to the world that we had tried. She is worried that it will be harder on us if it doesn’t happen and everyone knows. I understand her concern but at the same time it is part of this journey and that is why I’m writing this.

We had our first insemination last week! SOOOOO Exciting! Honestly I think we were in total disbelief that it was really happening. I was really stressing prior to it. We picked up our vial at the storage office and I signed for it and the lady hands it to me in a bag with a rubber band around it and says “here stick it in your bra where it is touching your skin.” I think the look I gave her when she said that must have shown her that I was really blown away by this statement and I needed an explanation for why she was asking me to do this. Ummm I believe that it is a very strange way to transport the vial but they ask you to do this bc the vial needs to be kept at body temperature before the insemination. On the drive over to see our 3rd Wheel, Leslie says “How funny is it that you have jiz in your shirt right now?” Ha! Not funny at all…well just a little…but overall it’s just strange!

So we get to the 3rd Wheel’s office and his nurse takes us back to a room and tells us that he’ll be there soon, he’s at the hospital delivering a baby : ) **(Side note: Our 3rd wheel, Dr. Macey, is the sweetest thing in the world, when he found out we were ovulating he made time to see us even though it was a day that he doesn’t even see patients in his office. He called us himself to say that he was excited to see us and do the insemination. )** Waiting in the exam room I was super nervous! Les kept saying “calm down” and then suggested that I do some yoga to help me relax. So taking her advice in the middle of the exam room I started doing several of my favorite poses and slowly I felt my tense muscles loosening up and my body beginning to relax. Luckily the nurse didn’t come in during this little spectacle…. could you imagine her walking in while I’m in the middle of my downward dog pose?!? Now that would be really awkward! Well, probably not considering what she looks at all day.

Twenty minutes pass and then there is a knock at the door! It’s him! He’s here! He goes over whats going to happen. Then he tells us that he’ll be back in just a few mins and we’ll get started. When he comes back in he say that our jiz looks good and they’re all swimming! Now, I gotta lay down and assume the position. Leslie stayed right next to me holding my hand. Awww… how sweet…. I know : ) He says he has to move really slow so that he doesn’t upset the uterus. He tells us when he’s made it through the cervix and lets us know that he’s going to start slowly moving forward making “little deposits” as he goes. Nice terminology there Dr Macey…”little deposits”…his words not mine. Less that 10 mins later he says that he is all finished. He tells me not to move and to stay there on the table for at least 15 mins. He flattens out the exam table and then lays my head down even more and raises my legs up…T-berg for you medical folks out there…then he wishes us the best and says he’ll talk to us soon. We look at each other and say wow! That was it! That is what we have been thinking about and planning for so long. We both agreed that it wasn’t nearly as intimate and emotional as we would have liked but then again when you have the 3rd Wheel in the room….

So here we are a week away from knowing if we had success. I am almost convinced at this point that I am not. No signs or anything but just convinced that this wont be the time that we get pregnant. I’m not being negative Nancy…I’m just trying to be Realistic Ruby bc it is very rare for it to happen on the first try. So now I know why they say that patience is a virtue and its a virtue that I just do not possess. We still have a week to go before we know anything and I’m going crazy just wanting to know already!

~M

Information Overload

Trying to get pregnant is so much more work than I thought it would be. I never realized everything that goes into it when you are trying and planning for it to happen.

Leslie and I both have been researching information trying to learn about things we can do in order to increase our chances of this working for us…sooner rather than later. I hate to be impatient but I’m just ready to get this show on the road already. I’ve read articles from many different sources that looking at so much stuff
just tend to confuse me. I’ll get it in my head that I’m going to try something that I read about then I’ll see where something else worked for this other couple. My word! Can’t we all just get along…well I meant…can’t we all just come up with some consistent suggestions to help women who want to get pregnant! Everyone going in different directions and constantly contradicting each other just confuses me!

So my request is that someone just make me a list of foods to eat, exercises to do, medications & vitamins to take and lastly I’ll also need a list of things NOT to do. Considering I’ve never tried to get pregnant before and considering when I was pregnant it was unplanned 11 yrs ago, I am open for any useful suggestions because the information overload is killing me! And I’m done with Google!

~M