Just a little Family Photo Shoot

I was so thrilled about doing Noah’s One year Photos and getting our family photos in too. It was a beautiful Fall day in Knoxville when we had these done and I can’t thank Sissy Sullivan enough for doing such a wonderful job.

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The Big Day

I’m a little late posting the update from our Adoption Day but wanted to share a few pictures from our special day!

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August 6th started with our whole family loading up and heading to downtown to the courthouse in Nashville. Noah was in a great mood and good thing because it was a long day.

Everyone in Davidson county doing an adoption for the month of August is told to be there that day. There were about 12 cases on the docket. Because adoptions aren’t public each family has to go in one at a time and they don’t post the order you will be going. So you really have no idea when you’ll be called. So we did our best to entertain Noah and keep him happy.

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We were lucky enough to have one amazing attorney! Her name was Erica Johnson and she happens to be one of our closest friends. We were her first official adoption case. So this was a BIG day for her too. We have been close friends with her and her partner Jen for years. It made it so special for us to be able to have her represent us during this process. She did an amazing job and we can’t say thank you enough!

After almost a 2 hour wait we were finally called! It was our turn. We all filed into the courtroom. We stood in front of the judge and Erica took turns asking Leslie and I a few questions. Then the judge said the words that we had been waiting to hear…”I find that it is in the best interest of this child, Noah Harrison, to be adopted by these two.” It was such an amazing feeling! Then he asked if we would like to take a few pictures! We all gathered around his desk for a little photo opp!

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He was such a nice guy. Even asked for us to send copies of the pictures we took to his office. Noah received his first sucker from the judge and was more fascinated with that than anything else.

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It was a long day and you could tell that Noah was exhausted when we were leaving but I was so proud of how he acted. No crying or screaming. It was a perfect day.  Oh and not to forget it was also Leslie’s birthday!

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We celebrated Leslie’s Birthday that night with a few of our closest friends. I successfully surprised her for the first time! Told her none of our friends were available to hang out. Told her I forgot to get a cake. And didn’t have time to get her a gift. But little did she know…I was able to get everyone together to surprise her and topped it off with a strawberry cake with buttercream icing for her. : ) I was so happy that she was surprised! Such a great day!

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A is for Adoption Day!

Last week we finished up our Home Study and our attorney filed our petition for adoption with the courts. We were really hoping that it would be in time for us to get on the July 9th docket but unfortunately that didn’t happen. There is only one judge that does the adoptions in our county and he was out of the office so he did not get the documents signed in time for us to make it happen for the month of July. It was disappointing that we have to wait another month to finish the adoption but the upside is that our adoption is now scheduled to be finalized on August 6th, which just happens to be Leslie’s Birthday! What an amazing birthday present for her! I am so excited to have this complete! Such a huge weight lifted. Noah will finally have both Les and I legally recognized as his moms. It will be a great day for us as a family. I’m going to have to plan a huge celebration for Adoption Day to celebrate Les and the fact that this process is finally over!IMG_5367

Home Study

We are still actively working on our second parent adoption. The home study has been the most time-consuming part of the adoption. We have completed the majority of the paper work that needs to be turned in. We’ve had our fingerprints done for a TBI/FBI background check and had our criminal records pulled from the Metro Police Department. We’ve had letters of reference sent from family and friends. Letters from the boys physicians sent saying they are in good health and up to date on immunizations. Given her our work and tax information. Had to prove that we have health insurance and life insurance. I feel like we’ve done everything except give her a sample of our own blood.

The biggest burden was her coming to our home for the home visit and evaluating where we live. And now Thank Goodness that day has come and gone. We spent days and weeks worrying about her visit. I spent hours cleaning and organizing. This rental house is just an older home that has many wonderful features but also many features that we were worried would cause us trouble when she visited. For example the stairs to the basement dont have a rail and there is an old fireplace in the livingroom. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent worrying that she was going to think the fireplace was unsafe. So we added bumper pads to it, placed a painting in front of it, then moved that and tried puttin plants in front of it… Lord, I did everything possible to make sure she would find that fireplace acceptable. And when she came she barely glanced at it. She did ask to see our fire extinguisher and smoke detectors which we proudly showed her. We also showed her that we had no cleaning supplies below the sinks or down low in the home (another state requirement). She did a quick tour of the house only peeking into each room. I think she didn’t even spend more than 15 mins actually looking at our house. All that worrying we did for that quick tour. I guess I had it in my head that she was going to be inspecting our house with a fine tooth comb but that wasn’t the case at all. Seems like her main goal is to view your home to see that there is adequate room for everyone and that there aren’t any major hazards.

The majority of her time at our house she spent talking to us. She met Nate for the first time and asked if she could ask him a few questions…well that was the only part that didn’t go so well. He was super nervous and when she asked him if he knew why she was there he answered with, “to make sure our house is safe for Noah.” Well that’s what we had told him and honestly I think that it was a good answer. But she wanted him to understand more about the home study I guess because the day after the study she asked if we could explain the adoption situation to him more and could she meet with him again. At first we were a little frustrated with the situation. The reason we hadn’t talked about the home study and adoption very much with Nate is because in his eyes we are already a family, Leslie is already Noah’s mom and we don’t like to continually highlight the fact that the states denies us basic rights. But I agreed to bring him in. I talked to him at length about the adoption process and the home study and when we went to see her this past week she seemed very satisfied with his responses and understanding about everything.

Now with that behind us I feel like a weight has been lifted. We are literally weeks away from having our adoption official. We are thrilled to be this close to finishing. Our adoption date will either be July 9th or Aug 6th. Yippee!

Throwing Stones at Our Own

I came across a post on the Curve Magazine Facebook page of a young couple holding a fundraiser to help them pay for their baby making process. This is a young couple that lives in Denver, CO and from what I gathered they are photographers. They are offering “perks” for donations and are trying to raise $6,500. I smiled when I saw this thinking to myself…”This is pretty clever. We should have thought of a fundraiser!” Then I started slowly scrolling through the comments and was shocked and saddened by what I read… “If they want a baby shouldn’t they be able to afford one on their own? Just my opinion”, “Wait till you have to pay childcare, ladies. If you can’t afford a baby now, the cost of raising one is really going to shock you.”, “If you can’t afford to make it you probably can’t afford to support it.”, “I find this to be an odd way to have a child….children are expensive if you can’t afford to produce one how can you afford to raise one?”, “even though I already commented I just had to come back to say that NO ONE should give money to this..stop the madness!!!”… Now, I remind you that these are all other lesbians. So just because this couple decided to seek help in raising the money for their attempts we should assume that they can’t afford to raise a child or deserve one?!? Wow! What is wrong with our community AND When did we become so hateful to each other? Is it just me or do you not feel that we as lesbians need to be supportive of each other in our efforts to start families. Now of course I don’t expect everyone to donate money to their cause but at least support the fact that a loving couple is excited to start their own family and wish them well. These people with the negative comments are acting like because they are holding this fundraiser that they are saying they can’t afford a child. They’re NOT asking for help in raising their child, they’re simply creating a fundraiser to help with their attempts to get pregnant. I’ve known more than one straight couple that has held a fundraiser to help with the expenses of adoption and no one throws stones at them. No one assumes that they don’t have the money to pay for the child once its theirs. Why are we throwing stones at our own?

Raising a baby is not ALL about money. Yes, children cost money (I know. I have two of them.) but they aren’t as crazy expensive as everyone’s comments are making them out to be. You can find ways to save money and afford the essentials. Most of all a baby needs love, attention, stability and I’m sure this couple can handle that.

We have a whole new generation of LGBT who see that we deserve to have families just like straight couples! Twenty years ago most gay and lesbian couples never even thought of trying to have children…now its 2013 and we live in a whole new world of access and availability to try to start families. Straight couples can get pregnant without a penny spent. They have an unlimited supply of sperm and can try whenever they want to. And I would dare say that many of them aren’t financially prepared. I would like to see how many capable straight couples would be getting pregnant if they had to come up with $1000 a month to try!

I am so disappointed in the reactions that these girls received. Most of you know how costly it is to make a baby in our world. Most of you saved up for months and maybe years to do so. I know Les and I had to stop trying at one point because we ran out of money. What is so wrong with this couple just asking for help?!? If a stranger wants and can afford to donate to their cause then good for them! Some may think it’s odd or weird but who cares! Don’t give if you don’t want to give. Scroll past if you don’t support them but why send out these nasty messages to them. What ever happened to…”If you can’t say something nice then don’t say anything at all.” ?

We live in a world with so much hate directed at the LGBT community. We are battling daily for equality. We long for the day that our marriages are recognized and we are seen as equal. We want to put a stop to the hate that we face but yet we are turning on our own people!

“You must BE the change that you want to see in the World!”- Gandhi

Here is a link to Jennie and Heather’s Fundraiser if you’d like to take a peek… http://igg.me/at/babycrate/x/2660086

Adopting Our Own Child

When we decided we wanted to have a baby we agreed that we both wanted to both be legally Noah’s parents. We live in a state where we can do a 2nd Parent Adoption. This will allow Les’s name to be put on Noah’s birth certificate and she would legally be just as much his mother as I am. So we met with our attorney a few weeks before Noah was born to talk about what we needed to do to get the ball rolling. We found that this process was not going to be as easy as we had hoped. This was going to be not only expensive but time-consuming. We are required to go through a home study just as if we were adopting a child from China. It feels weird going through the motions to essentially adopt your own child. The home study is costly and you are handed a stack of paper work that needs to be completed. We were told that were couldn’t even meet with the social worker until he was a few months old and that we can’t apply for the adoption until he is 6 months old. In the meeting with the social worker we were handed a list of things that had to be done. The list of things required is long…background checks, finger prints by the TBI, police background reports, letters from friends, family and our doctors, family medical history, proof of employment, all of our financial information, a lengthy self evaluation, two visits to our home, at least one individual interview with her and I’m sure more that has slipped my mind at the moment. We have so much on our plates right now but we don’t want this to be pushed onto a back burner. It is very important for us to do this to protect us and Noah.
One part of me wants to be angry with the process. One part of me wants to point out that there are hundreds of thousands of unfit parents in the world that do not have to jump through the hoops that we do. But the wiser part of me says NO…be thankful. Be thankful that we are able to have her adopt him. Just be thankful that we will be protected. Be thankful because we are blessed to be the mommies of one precious little boy. So I’m Thankful.

~M

Question & Answer Session

I was asked to answer two sets of Questions so here we go….

These are the questions I’ve been given to answer by http://lovelytransitions.wordpress.com/

1. What is your all-time favorite food? Mexican!!! I could eat Mexican food everyday! I love taquitos, salsa, chimichangas, queso dip, oh I could go on forever!

2. If you went to college, what was your major? My major in college was Cardiopulmonary Science.

3. If you could change one thing about your physical appearance, what would it be? I would make myself have smaller tatas! I know some women pay thousands and thousands of dollars to have them this size but I didn’t ask for it : )

4. Beach or mountains? Beach. Ahhhh! I love the sand, the sun, the ocean, etc.

5. What is your favorite color? Yellow.

6. How tall are you? 5’4″ and would love to be taller!

7. If you could go any one place in the world (money is not a factor) where would you choose to go? If I could go any one place in the world I would go to Fiji.

8. Who is the biggest role model in your life? My grandfather. He was the most inspiring amazing person I’ve ever known. I wish more than anything he was alive today.

9. When you die, how do you want to be remembered? I want people to remember me as positive person who loved to make people laugh and enjoyed helping others. I also would want people to remember that I treated people with respect and that’s the way I wished to be treated.

10. Do you have a favorite quote? If so, what is it?  “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”~Mahatma Gandhi

11. Make up your own question! Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I see myself being a busy wife and mother. I’ll have a wife who is finished with Med School but busy with a Residency. And I’ll have a 17 year old, a 4 year old and hopefully another baby in the mix. I see myself being in the prime of life and being happier than ever living life with my family.

And I was also asked by my friend Roxx  from http://lesroxxbangkok.wordpress.com/ to answer 11 more…

1) Choose 3 things that are important to you apart from starting a family.  #1 would be my wife and family #2 my friends #3 Staying healthy and being active.

2) Do you believe in ghosts /paranormal stuff? Yes. I believe in ghosts after watching one too many reality haunting shows. Ha! Scares me to death!

3) Have you had a particular life-changing event? Yes when I became a mom at the age of 17 my life was forever changed. I had to grow up insanely fast. I missed out on many life experiences that other girls my age experienced but in the end it was all worth it to be mom to one amazing little boy.

4) What is your all time favourite film/movie? Pride & Prejudice. The 4 hour film produced by A&E. I swear it goes along with the book word for word. Love it!

5) What was your favourite holiday of all time? My favorite holiday is the Fourth of July! My birthday happens to be 2 days before it and growing up I used to think all the fireworks on the Fourth were for my birthday. I love getting together for a cookout with family and friends. So the Fourth of July is 100% my favorite holiday.

6) What annoys you the most about your country? Lack of Gay Rights.

7) What is the last book you read for fun and what did you think of it? Oh this is awful…I haven’t read a book in a long time. I think the last one I read was… The Other Boleyn Girl. AMazing book. Much better than the movie.

8) Have you had /would you ever have any kind of plastic surgery? I have not but Yes I would! I would love to reduce the size of my tatas. Just to a C….nothing to drastic one cup size down would make me a happy lady!

9) Do you have any allergies? Nope but my son has awful seasonal allergies and sneezes non-stop when the pollen comes around.

10) What things do you like about yourself? I like my sense of humor and my honesty.

11) Do you have any pets? I have a morbidly obese cat named Phoenix. He was a birthday present for Les the first year we were together. He is a Flamepoint Siamese. I will admit he is the most beautiful cat I have ever owned but defiantly the craziest. I also have 2 dogs. Paige is our 6 year old Great Dane mix. She has no idea how big she is and thinks she’s my baby and then her little sister Maddie is 4.5 year old Pit Bull. Maddie and Paige do everything together. They are my sweet girls and I love them to death!

22 Questions Answered….I bet you feel like you know me a little bit better now : )

~M

Back to Back

Monday morning bright and early I woke up, took my daily ovulation test and just like the day before I had a faint positive. Les was reluctant for us to go in for the appointment without a for sure positive knowing that this is our last month to try. We arrive and they put us in our regular room. Our favorite 3rd Wheel enters the room to chat with us about events of the past month, the meds I took and ovulation symptoms. He said that he thinks we should go ahead with the insemination because even if the egg hasn’t popped out yet we know it will very soon and the little swimmers will be there waiting on it when it arrives.  Once I’m on the table there is the familiar knock at the door and he comes in with a new face in tow. This newbie was eager to help and watch. Ha! I swear I thought she was going to come over his back trying to see this procedure…obviously a first for her! All finished they left the room with me laying with my head down and the lights off so I could relax…we did our 20 mins then packed up to leave knowing we’d be back in less than 24 hours for our last try.

The next morning bright and earlier than the day before I drop Nathan off at school early and head up to Dr. Macey’s office to meet Les. She worked the night before so we planned to meet there. I asked her to go and pick up the vial for us at the storage office. Well, let me just say what a huge mistake that was! I receive a call from Anita as I’m pulling into the doctor’s office parking lot…Anita: “Hello Melissa. You didn’t tell me you were having someone pick up the vial for you.” Me: “Oh I’m sorry that’s my wife Leslie. She’s on my account paperwork.” Anita: “Well I’m sorry but you’re the one listed on the vial as the patient so legally I can only give it to you or someone else with written authorization.” Then she proceeds to tell me I could fax her an authorization…Ummm, Les just told you I’m in the car, lady!!  Well folks that did it. It sent Les over the edge.  Les was livid that Anita was rude and offensive. Not only was the policy itself offensive when my own wife couldn’t pick up the sperm to make OUR baby, but the lady looked at her like she had 3 heads when Les told her why she was there instead of me. So my only option was to turn around and go get it myself. Thank God I was only 5 mins away. Geez. I guess we’re lucky all Les did was barge out of the office yelling “This is just F-ing ridiculous!”

Once we were able to make it to the office we proceeded with the same routine as the day before. The newbie nurse from the day before was there trying to quietly explain (Her quite voice isn’t so quite bc I heard her loud and clear) to another new face what she needed to do to assist with our insemination. The knock at the door came and in comes our 3rd wheel with the new nurse. I said to him you just have all kinds of new nurses and introduce myself and Leslie to her. She tells us she wasn’t really new that she normally works on the other side of the office and she was just helping out today. I thought to myself yeah right…You know you’ve never seen this before and are dying to watch. Well either way it was fine with us. She seemed sweet and way friendlier than the newbie from the day before. We go through the whole routine again and all goes well again. When he’s all finished he talks to us for a minute, wishes us the best of luck and tells us how hopeful he is.

We make it home and I feel pretty worn out. I’m crampy and uncomfortable so I lay down to rest. I sleep most of the day and night, feeling guilty for not being up doing things around the house. I can’t explain how it feels other than it doesn’t feel good. I’m not sure if other people have the same experience as I do but for me it’s just not fun. Then after a day of rest Wed rolls around and I’m feeling 100% again. So we did it…back to back and gave it our best shot. Nothing we can do now but wait and hope for the best!

~M

She’s Not My Blood

Just because she didn’t give birth doesn’t mean she less of a mommy than me. I can’t thank Kristy Lee enough for writing such an amazing song. It’s impossible for us to hear this song and not cry. Les may not be Nate’s mom but she’s still such a huge part of his life and just like a mom to him.

http://youtu.be/-AlJRCbPVk8

Whose baby is it anyway?

I’ve been asked so many times about what our family dynamics are going to be once the baby comes and about Les’s rights as a parent considering I will be the one carrying the baby.

This is another one of those situations where straight couples have it very easy. When a guy sleeps with a girl and oops!, she ends up pregnant…no one would question that guys parental rights to the baby. When a straight couple that is dating or married find themselves pregnant yet again no one would dare question that man’s parental rights to the baby. But in our case, Les and I have been together for over four years and we are legally married in the state of Massachusetts, but when I have a baby my wife will have no parental rights to our child until we take legal action to make that happen. So not that the process of getting pregnant for lesbians isn’t hard enough, they make it even harder by making us go through the legal system in order for us both to be recognized as our child’s parents.

I’ve never been an in-your-face, flag waving, screaming for gay rights kind of girl. I rarely speak out about how I feel. I’ve never marched in a parade or stood with a sign demanding equality. Some from the gay community might even frown upon this but it is just who I am. I live my life quietly with my family in the suburbs, pay taxes just like you, abide by the laws and hope that one day our rights, not as lesbians, but as humans will one day be recognized. The right to marry the person I love and have a family with them. It frustrates me to think that Leslie and I are married and in a committed relationship trying to have a baby but when that day happens we still have to go the extra mile yet again just to have her rights as a parent recognized.

But on the bright side of things…. I am thankful for the fact that even though we still currently live in the South Eastern United States in Tennessee we do live in an state where we are allowed to do a Second Parent Adoption. “A second parent adoption is a legal procedure that allows a same-sex parent to adopt a partner’s biological or adoptive child without terminating the legal rights of the first parent.” Now I say we are allowed to do a 2nd parent adoption because there are many states where lesbian couples do not have that option available to them. For example: In the state of Florida the law prohibits ANY homosexual from adopting.

So I will live with the little rights that I do have, and be grateful that she and I have a great support system of friends around us. Les and I will use our attorney to set up and proceed with a second parent adoption so that we both have equal parental rights to our child just like it should be. But…. I do look forward to the day that lesbian couples all over the nation and all over the world can have parental rights without having to fight so damn hard for it. Okay I’m stepping of my gay soap box now….sorry for the ramblings of a Mad Lesbian Woman.

List of Gay Adoption RIghts in each state:

http://gaylife.about.com/od/gayparentingadoption/a/gaycoupleadopt.htm

http://www.lambdalegal.org/our-work/issues/marriage-relationships-family/parenting/overview-of-state-adoption.html

~M

Information Overload

Trying to get pregnant is so much more work than I thought it would be. I never realized everything that goes into it when you are trying and planning for it to happen.

Leslie and I both have been researching information trying to learn about things we can do in order to increase our chances of this working for us…sooner rather than later. I hate to be impatient but I’m just ready to get this show on the road already. I’ve read articles from many different sources that looking at so much stuff
just tend to confuse me. I’ll get it in my head that I’m going to try something that I read about then I’ll see where something else worked for this other couple. My word! Can’t we all just get along…well I meant…can’t we all just come up with some consistent suggestions to help women who want to get pregnant! Everyone going in different directions and constantly contradicting each other just confuses me!

So my request is that someone just make me a list of foods to eat, exercises to do, medications & vitamins to take and lastly I’ll also need a list of things NOT to do. Considering I’ve never tried to get pregnant before and considering when I was pregnant it was unplanned 11 yrs ago, I am open for any useful suggestions because the information overload is killing me! And I’m done with Google!

~M

Dark Lines

I received my new Yoga 4 Fertility DVD and I was super excited to try it out. So I pop it in and am totally ready to learn something new. Actress Brenda Song is the instructor and creator of the routine… Apparently she had some trouble getting pregnant with her 2nd child and that is what inspired her to make this DVD. At times it was hard to stay focused because hearing her talk you through each pose kept reminding me watching Desperate Housewives years ago and hearing her narrate that show…just needed Eva next to me to make the experience more real.

I worked my way through the routine pretty easily. Only had one awkward part in the whole routine where she wanted you to do some kind of movement using your hands and groin. I took one look at that part and said “Oh hell no!” and skipped on to the next section. You can tell from the DVD that Brenda is a yoga champ and I must say that it was very relaxing and informative. Overall it was a good buy and I’d say if you like slow relaxing yoga then I’d recommend it. She seems to be a little weird but who am I to judge her, considering I’m writing a blog about trying to get pregnant and most of my posts have talked about Jiz.

Now moving onto more exciting news. I have to give shout out and a fist bump to my girl Brenda because it looks like I’m ovulating! Now I’m not saying I ovulated just because of her yoga routine. We all should know that there is a monthly timeline that my eggs abide by and they could care less if I do yoga with Brenda. But I do find it humorous that I did the routine then ovulate the next morning. And it is official… The pee-stick finally had 2 dark lines! Not just 1 dark one  OR  1 lite & 1 dark…NO mam…it had 2 dark lines! Can I just express how exciting it is to know that I didn’t run in the bed room & wake Les up for nothing this time! (*Side Note: Let us just say that my judgement of how dark a line is has not been the best and I have startled her several times. Ooops*) Well not today folks! This was it! Our first month tracking with the pee-sticks to see if I was ovulating and it happened! Wooo Hooo!

Now we’re off to see Dr. Macey in the morning, who will from now on he will be referred to as the 3rd Wheel in my blogs. We have lab work to do and a timeline to set up. It is a crazy feeling knowing that we are “so close but yet so far away”.

~M

Did you say Quarantine?

Nothing in this process can shock me anymore. I have to write about our latest interesting experience. I know that I informed most of you of the search for the donor…talked about how we narrowed down to 4 then 3 then picked the winner “Tall guy w/ good teeth”! We were so excited to finally have, after much deliberation, decided on our “baby daddy”! Talk about a huge weight lifted! Well most of you should know what comes next…Oh you don’t know…No worries I’ll fill you in.

You’d think this could work just like any other on-line order right? I mean you can buy anything on-line…clothes, cars, animals, food, drugs, honestly this list could go forever but let me inform you that you can not, I repeat NOT buy this sperm on-line. Well from a cryobank anyway. You have to call and actually speak to a representative to purchase Jiz…yes you want to talk about feeling awkward! Imagine this, “Hello. Can I help you? Yes you can. I’d like to buy some Jiz please.” Now having never gone through this before I must say I didn’t know how I felt about this at first. But put my big girl panties on and picked up the phone to call. The first attempt we called at 5 pm and they were already closed. I mean Hello who these days does not have 24 hour service by phone? Xytex, that is who. Now we try again and this time I am on top of it. I sit down at 4pm with all my information and I am ready to do business. I call the number and what the heck?!? They are closed again! That’s when I noticed that I failed to realize they said they were open til 5pm EASTERN Time…I mean talking about feeling like a dumbass!

For our third attempt to make contact we were taking no chances on calling after they were closed this time…we were prepared for the time change thing. Which in reality means we called like 30 mins before they closed. Ha! So anyway, my heart is racing as I’m dialing the number, Leslie is next to me listening in on the call & being my cheerleader and I’m just praying that whoever picks up on the other end doesn’t think I sound like an idiot. Well let me tell you none other than, my now dear friend, Lois answers our call. She is one of the sweetest women I have ever talked to. Just precious. She didn’t act like she thought I was crazy when I said I’m calling to order some vials of Jiz but I really didn’t say Jiz to her just so you know. She said, “Great! Let me get some information from you first.” She took all of my info and then she says “Alright now what is the donor’s number that you have chosen?” I proudly tell her Tall guy w/ the good teeth’s number….she pauses then says he has vials available but he only has unwashed jiz. I responded with oh well we need washed units so “Can y’all just wash them?”.  (*Side note: we need washed jiz because we are doing an intrauterine insemination and unwashed jiz is only for an at- home insemination and I already told you all how we felt about that.*) And she responds with “I’m sorry but no, we can’t.”

Holy Crap! Really?!?! I mean seriouslly…all that time and stress picking “Tall guy w/ the good teeth” and you want to tell me he’s NOT THE WINNER anymore!                       Talk about a let down… Thanks for busting our bubble Lois! But I had to forgive her quickly and try to move on in our ordering experience I wasnt going to give up yet.

She asks if we have a Plan B…and oh wait, yes we do!!! Forgot about that…thank God!!! We have Smart Guy! We then tell her smart guy’s number and she says to us okay he does have units there but they are in Quarantine and wont be ready for a while. Ummmm…What in the hell?!? I said, “I’m sorry but why are his units in Quarantine?!”            We were both thinking holy crap he is infected with something AWFUL if his Jiz has to be QUARANTINED!!! Then to our relief she proceeds to informed us that ALL the units go into quarantine right after they are received….well that’s the first bit of good news we’ve received! But another let down comes when she says that because his units are in Quarantine they will not be ready for another week or maybe longer. We are not waiting weeks! We ready to buy TODAY!!!  I mean come on Lois!!! You’re killing me!!!

Leslie says to me right before my breaking point hits…”Its okay honey, what about Scruffy? Lets just use him. Check and see if he is available?” So to Lois’s surprise we tell her that we have a third guy. She then tells us that we are the first couple she’s ever talked to that was that prepared! Score one for us being so fabulous! Turns out that Scruffy has vials available! They are washed! And there are lots of them available! Woooo Hoooo! I say okay great we’ll take them! She takes our payment info and then reconfirmed the whole order and that was it we were done! We thank our new friend Lois and say goodbye. Wow! We had actually done it! After talking about this for so long we had actually done it!

We sat there on the couch and just took a deep breath. Then said to each other…we need to go back and look at Scruffy because we hadn’t looked at his info in weeks. He was on the bottom of our list, so we literally just forgot about him. What if we just made a big mistake? How could we look at our child years down the road and think “Man, I wish I’d taken another look at your father’s profile!! Damn!” Ha! We begin to look at his pictures and profile and remember him well. Then as I’m almost ready to close the computer Leslie says, “Maybe we should take one more quick look at our options”. I agree and here we go moving through a broad search with lightning speed! We come across “Hot Guy” (*Remember in our selection process we let him go…Leslie thought he looked too much like a jock not sure if I shared that bit or not*). We look back over his profile and realize that neither of us ever read his personal essay. After we both read it, I turn to look at her and Holy Crap! We both have tears welling up in our eyes!!!! He is so perfect!!! And hell, he wasn’t named Hot Guy for no reason! I frantically pick up the phone (because at this point it is less than 5 mins till they close and pray #1 that they answer and #2 that they will let us change our order! To my amazement they pick up and guess who answered our call? None other than LOIS!!! Yay!!! Lois remembers us and I ask if we can quickly change our donor if he has units available? She says absolutely she hadn’t sent off our order yet! She looks up Hot Guys info and yep he was a match! Oh yes people…the stars aligned for us! We said we’ll take ’em! With that 0ur order is changed and we bid sweet Lois a fond farewell.

Our Jiz purchasing experience is now complete…Hallujah! That was without a doubt the craziest 30 mins of my life! So now you can’t shake me…I know we are ready for the next insane experience that this journey can throw at us…Bring it!

~M

Who wants to be Fertile???

As we get closer to inseminating I am getting more and more anxious about the possibility of not getting pregnant. I mean we are totally ready for the stars to align and for it to take on our first attempt but we’ve had so many sources tell us that it isn’t likely to happen. So what the heck?!?!? We’ve said that we are not going to get our hopes up…but is that really possible??? We’ve dreamed about this, talked about this, and planned for this for so long that I’m not sure we can help but get excited and hope for the best. Now after spending probably too much time dwelling on this I decided to do some research on fertility…trying to bring the ball back into my own court.

Ummm….I had NO idea that there was soooo much stuff out there! Talk about information…my goodness I had a hard time deciding what to look at first. You have chinese holistic stuff, diets, hypnosis therapy, acupuncture, yoga routines, supplements and so much more…way too much to remember it all but I’m telling you anything and everything is available. I sat there in amazement looking at all this stuff then finally the information overload passed (or the ADD meds kicked in) and I was able narrow down what I wanted deciding on a couple of books and a yoga DVD. Then with the permission of the wifey I got to buy all three! WoooHooo! (*Side Note: she’s not a money control freak…but bc of the whole $pricey$ getting pregnant process we are now on a budget and I willingly surrendered all of my credit cards bc I have no self-control with spending money & she’s the budget guru that helps reign me in*) Now back to my purchased material…. These books and the DVD I bought are all supposed to help teach me ways to increase my fertility. Who wants to be fertile? Me! Me! I want to me extremely fertile so that we don’t have to spend more money buying more Jiz! These books are supposed to be pretty good…both had great reviews and One even predicts that you will be pregnant in three months! Now I may be a total sucker but I thought what the heck I’ll try it and if I don’t find myself preggers in 3 months… I’m going to be searching for someone to contact about getting my 13 dollars back!

I have a question….Am I the only one that really didn’t know there were so0000 many ways to increase your fertility and that there are thousands of books written about how to do it???

The last quick thought from my search for fertility is that from what I can tell it looks like I was actually wrong about straight couples being so lucky. Sure they have immediate access to Jiz, they have the luxury of it being free and they are able to try at home without the input of a third-party but it’s not as easy for them as I had thought. The majority of the information out there is not for lesbian couples, it’s for straight couples who have been trying for years to have a baby. Wow! I can’t imagine what that must feel like and my heart goes out to those couples. I guess because I was 18 when I had my son I never realized that some people had a hard time getting pregnant. Now I’m starting to think….well I got pregnant once before with no trouble and without even trying so maybe that’s a good sign for me : ) After all of this is over I think I’m going to buy stock in fertility books/DVDs or I might just decide to write a book of my own! Who knows???

Well I’m excited that my books and DVD will be here soon and I will be sharing all my new knowledge very soon : )

~M

AND THE WINNER IS…..

Well its go time….we are down to the wire and its time to get the show on the road. We are ready for our first insemination which should be in the next week or so… as long as my body cooperates. But before we can do this we have to pick our “baby daddy”…well thats just what Les and I have chosen to call him at home…we like it better than “sperm donor”. So after much deliberation we had it narrowed down to 4 guys. We decided to name them all so that when we were talking about them and debating on which one to pick we would know who we were discussing as opposed to using Donor#82564384 or whatever they number them as. We were down to Smart Guy, Scruffy, Tall Guy w/ good Teeth, & Hot Guy. Now all of these that we had it narrowed down to were all really good-looking and each had qualities that we really liked. It was really hard to even talk about what we didn’t like about them because they all really seemed to be great guys. We felt so much pressure to pick the “right” one…I mean this would be the other biological half of our kid…this should not be entered into lightly for goodness sake! Ha! Who am I kidding…this isnt that serious. I mean we are a Nuture over Nature family. We just want a healthy and good-looking baby!

So after talking these guys over we decided that we needed a back-up plan aka a “Plan B”. We watched the Real L WOrd this past season and there was a couple, Cori and Kacy, going through this process and the guy they chose only had 3 vials available… so learning from watching their experience we decided that we needed to have so back up guys that we liked just in case our 1st pick had limited vials available. Now after much deliberation we are down to 3 guys. Had to take Hot Guy out of the mix…he was hot but other than that he didn’t fare well next to the other 3 and really didn’t meet our initial requirements that we had agreed upon. We talked about the other 3 and decided to leave all three of them in the mix but we knew that we finally had a clear favorite. Drum Roll Please**********************And the Winner is*********************TALL GUY w/ the good teeth!!!!!!! Congratulations… you have been selected by this amazing lesbian couple to (hopefully) father their baby!!!

I do wonder if they are notified that someone has purchased their jiz…now talk about a self confidence booster…that would make me walk a little taller for sure! Or what if you were one of those tragic looking guys that I talked about in an earlier blog and you never got that call saying your jiz had been purchased….that would be a balloon popper.

Well anyway….its done…another step is marked off the list. We are ready to move on to the tough part of actually using this stuff and trying to get pregnant! Oh my…what a day!

~Melissa