artificial insemination, clomid, fertility, home insemination, ICI, insemination, intracervical insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians ttc, pregnancy, sperm donors, trying to conceive, TTC, two week wait, tww

Dip Stick

Well the waiting was unbearable. I gave in on Monday and decided to go ahead and take a test early. I did the whole routine and peed in a cup, which I have become quite a professional at doing I must say… Then I dipped the stick and waited to see the NOT PREGNANT words appear. The stupid thing kept flashing and flashing…I thought for sure it was broken but finally words magically appeared… PREGNANT. I thought my eyes were screwing with me and I wasn’t reading it right. I went into the bedroom and woke Les up. She had worked the night before so she was quite startled by me shoving a pregnancy test in her face saying, “Oh My God read this for me… What does that say?” She rubs her eyes and puts her glasses on…. She looks at it and then looks back at me. “It says you’re Pregnant!” We kept looking at the stick like the words were going to change. The feeling of disbelief came over me. Sweet Lord…this can’t be true. I mean this is what we’ve been wanting and waiting for but REALLY?!?!? Is it really happening?!?!? I’m still in shock 3 days later. I would have never guessed that we would have been successful after our first at home insemination. We were both prepared for several more months of this process. I still can’t believe it. I’m so happy I feel like I could explode!

I’ve been dying to blog about it and let everyone who has been so supportive know our good news but Les wanted me to wait a little bit. She finally gave me the green light today to tell everyone. We have a doctors appointment for Tuesday for conformation But things are looking good. I’ve now taken 3 tests and have had 3 positives results. So I guess its time to let it sink in.

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artificial insemination, awkward, clomid, donor, fertility, infertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC

How in the Heck is this Gonna Work?

Well we are exactly a week away from the big day and we have no idea how this is going to work. We have half of a plan…but just the first half. We know that we have all the supplies we need to make this happen. We’ve done our homework on how to do this (the insemination) and do it right. We know that our donor is on board and is ready to donate Thursday and Friday but there’s a catch. He will be at the hospital all day both days. Now that means we will meet him really quickly to do the “hand-off”. The doctor said that we need to do the insemination pretty much right away…well how in the heck is this gonna work? We will be 30 mins away from our house!

I can’t believe I’m even writing about this…We’ve considered inseminating in the car because the actual insemination will only take 5 mins or 10 mins max. The long part is me having to lay down hips elevated for at least 20 mins. But really?!?! How insane is that? In a car? I watched a documentary on 20/20 a month or so ago of couples trying to get pregnant like us using known donors. One of the couples did inseminate in the car after picking up their swimmers. They did it right down the street in a parking lot or something. Its Karma coming back to get me because I laughed at the idea of them doing that. Well I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. Sure we do have a Tahoe with practically blacked out windows with plenty of room for me to lay down comfortably but my goodness… Is it just me that thinks this sounds crazy?

We are so ready to be pregnant and start our family but I had no idea how hard it would be, especially doing it this way. When we decided to change to using a known donor we knew all the work that was going to be on our shoulders but just not how much. Yes, we have saved thousands of dollars by choosing to do it this way but we’ve added lots of stress. I know we’ll figure it out…

~M

artificial insemination, awkward, baby, clomid, donor, fertility, infertility, insemination, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, LGBT, sperm donors, TTC, Uncategorized

Plan C

What a rollercoaster…this past week I have spent more time on the phone than a telemarketer. I think we have finally nailed down a plan and are ready to get going. Unfortunately we had to let go of the idea of being able to do IUI’s right now due to the fact that we aren’t able to get around the 6 month quarantine period. We were hoping that the one other fertility clinic in our area would be able to provide the services for us but it turns out that they are almost impossible to deal with. I’m pretty sure that the patient coordinator that I spoke with at least three times has a learning disability. I wonder if she can even tie her own shoes. She could not understand what I was wanting from her clinic. Its pretty simple… Our donor comes in and donates his swimmers. You collect it… do what you do with it… put into vials, store it…then you let me use those vials without having to wait 6 months. But she kept wanting to schedule an appointment for me and our donor with one of the doctors at their clinic even after telling her I had my own doctor and I just needed the collection and storage. I think it’s safe to assume that they must not deal with very many lesbian couples. I still don’t think she understands that I do not have a problem with fertility. “Listen lady, I do not have a fertility issue.. other than the fact that my wife does not produce sperm! Is that clear enough for you?” I finally just gave up. There was no point in getting all worked up about it…time to move on.

So our hope was squashed and we had no choice but to go with Plan C. Now Plan C was our least favorite plan because it involves us having to deal directly with the Jiz. Yep. We are now going to have to do same day Intracervical Inseminations. I was a nervous wreck when I sent the email to our donor asking him if he would be okay with doing same day inseminations. This change in plan means us having to do a hand-off of his swimmers at least two days in a row each month. Which means more of a time commitment for him. Our donor has a very time consuming job and I just didn’t know if this idea would fly with him. Because seriously, how convenient is it to be at work or wherever he may be and have to drop what he’s doing to go Jiz in a cup? I was totally preparing myself for a negative response considering that really wasn’t what he originally agreed to.

The wait was awful but luckily he replied to us that night saying that he was okay with the new plan. He said the same thing that Les and I said when we realized that we were going with PlanC, “The handoffs will be a little awkward but we can make it work.” It was so nice to know that we were on the same page. I don’t know how to put into words how much I appreciate him being willing to do this for us. This guy is willing to give us a gift that will change our lives forever. We can never say thank you enough.

So here I am…hopeful, antsy, excited, nervous, etc. all at the same time. We’re looking on the bright side of going to PlanC… using fresh swimmers will work to our advantage and we’ll be pregnant soon. I start my clomid today on day 4 of my cycle and will take it for 5 days…should ovulate and inseminate exactly 7 days later! Wow! We are 2 weeks away from starting the process. So much hard work! Please God let it pay off this time!

~M

artificial insemination, donor, fertility, infertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, intrauterine insemination, IUI, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC, Uncategorized

You thought wrong…

Just when you think that things are going to be easier you get the news that you thought wrong. I called the clinic last week to schedule an appointment for our donor to come in and donate. They started setting up the appointment and everything seemed to be rolling right along. Then I said to her, “We’ll be doing our next insemination at the end of Feb…everything will be ready by then right?” Well that’s where I was SO wrong. She says to me, “Oh… No, they have to be in Quarantine for 6 months.” There’s that word again….Quarentine. I said, “You have got to be kidding me… 6 Months?” Well she was not joking at all. I didn’t know what else to say so I told her I would call back to set something up once I had talked to Les and processed all of the info.

That news came as a Big Blow. I had no idea that when we decided to use a known donor that we would be looking at not evening being able to use our donor’s donation for half a year.  We can’t wait that long to start trying again. It’s been hard enough having to take a break but I can’t imagine having to wait 6 more months. I don’t know what to do!!!

~M

artificial insemination, baby, donor, fertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, intrauterine insemination, IUI, known donor, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC, Uncategorized

2012 is HERE!

Wow its been a while since I’ve sat down to write! The holidays were crazy busy! What a great Christmas with my family and Leslie’s family! We seemed to go non-stop the whole time but enjoyed every minute of it. New Years was a great time too. We had so much fun celebrating the end of 2011 with our friends. Leslie said she had never seen me so silly…I guess had a little too much fun thanks to a bottle of wine. Ha! But we agreed that I deserved a last night of fun before we get going again. Now I can say that we are really excited about what 2012 holds for our family!

During our little break it was nice to be free of the stress but I’m ready to start-up this process again. Things will be different from the last go round. We’ve found a known donor and are so excited that he is willing to help us out. He is ready to donate as soon as we’ve finalized the paperwork and set up a time with the fertility clinic. I plan on working to get all of that going this week so he can get into the clinic asap! Keeping our fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly we are hoping to do an insemination at the end of February.

Looks like we’re back in the groove!

~M

artificial insemination, awkward, baby, donor, fertility, insemination, intracervical insemination, intrauterine insemination, IUI, known donor, lesbian, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, sperm donors, TTC

Taking Applications

We have been thinking a lot about our options of a donor. We have discussed at length the cost of staying with Xytex. For 3 months worth of trying, the little swimmers alone were around $3000, and then our doctor is a whole other charge. (Decided to change my terminology from Jiz to little swimmers…I guess it sounds less crude) We know that when using a Xytex for our donor we have the opportunity to look at them like it’s a job interview. Their donor profiles give you great insight to who they are and their medical background. We really like how they operate, and we have already had a good experience with them but….. the cost in using them is going to be a burden. Now if we would’ve had success during the past 3 months this would be a non-issue but looking to the future and knowing that we could have 2, 3 or even 4 more tries before we get pregnant we just aren’t sure what to do about the cost. So this is where we decided to think outside the box.

We started tossing the idea around of trying to find a donor that we know but aren’t close to.  From the start I thought I’d never want to do it this way, but hearing other people’s stories and good experiences has made us begin to reconsider this option. We know that we would want to have very little interaction with the donor. He would go to the doctor’s office where we store our swimmers, just “drop his off”, and they would handle the rest. We would want to avoid the awkwardness at all cost! The paper work would be already drawn up relieving them of any obligation and parental rights prior to all this happening. It would really be no different from the process that we’ve been going through already except we’d know his name and maybe know him personally and the best part– we wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars on swimmers. Now tell me that it doesn’t sound very appealing!

But so much goes into finding a donor that you “know”. We wouldn’t want someone we are close friends with. We wouldn’t want someone who we would see or run into on a regular basis. Now if they live here in the Nashville area it may be okay considering there is a good chance that we will be moving out-of-state this summer. But the task of finding someone who is willing to donate isn’t easy.

I mean this guy has to really think about what he’s doing because its kinda a Big Deal. Okay now on a more serious note… he has to be willing to donate knowing that he will have no parental role in this child’s life. It is just a “gift”. It’s the most amazing generous gift that you could ever give to a couple who is desperately wanting a child. The idea of having a healthy, smart, funny, good-looking, normal guy donate to “our cause” for free seems too good to be true, but there is a chance. And we have no idea what is going to happen. Who knows?

So that’s it. We are now open to the idea of using someone we “know”. Really don’t know anyone right now that we would ask. I think we should try to sit down and make out a list. Or maybe just put it out there to the world that we are taking applications. Announcement: The Terrell’s are Taking Applications. Thanks.

~M

artificial insemination, awkward, baby, clomid, donor, fertility, gay rights, insemination, intrauterine insemination, IUI, lesbian, lesbian moms, lesbians, LGBT, pregnancy, questions, sperm donors, TTC, Uncategorized

Back to Back

Monday morning bright and early I woke up, took my daily ovulation test and just like the day before I had a faint positive. Les was reluctant for us to go in for the appointment without a for sure positive knowing that this is our last month to try. We arrive and they put us in our regular room. Our favorite 3rd Wheel enters the room to chat with us about events of the past month, the meds I took and ovulation symptoms. He said that he thinks we should go ahead with the insemination because even if the egg hasn’t popped out yet we know it will very soon and the little swimmers will be there waiting on it when it arrives.  Once I’m on the table there is the familiar knock at the door and he comes in with a new face in tow. This newbie was eager to help and watch. Ha! I swear I thought she was going to come over his back trying to see this procedure…obviously a first for her! All finished they left the room with me laying with my head down and the lights off so I could relax…we did our 20 mins then packed up to leave knowing we’d be back in less than 24 hours for our last try.

The next morning bright and earlier than the day before I drop Nathan off at school early and head up to Dr. Macey’s office to meet Les. She worked the night before so we planned to meet there. I asked her to go and pick up the vial for us at the storage office. Well, let me just say what a huge mistake that was! I receive a call from Anita as I’m pulling into the doctor’s office parking lot…Anita: “Hello Melissa. You didn’t tell me you were having someone pick up the vial for you.” Me: “Oh I’m sorry that’s my wife Leslie. She’s on my account paperwork.” Anita: “Well I’m sorry but you’re the one listed on the vial as the patient so legally I can only give it to you or someone else with written authorization.” Then she proceeds to tell me I could fax her an authorization…Ummm, Les just told you I’m in the car, lady!!  Well folks that did it. It sent Les over the edge.  Les was livid that Anita was rude and offensive. Not only was the policy itself offensive when my own wife couldn’t pick up the sperm to make OUR baby, but the lady looked at her like she had 3 heads when Les told her why she was there instead of me. So my only option was to turn around and go get it myself. Thank God I was only 5 mins away. Geez. I guess we’re lucky all Les did was barge out of the office yelling “This is just F-ing ridiculous!”

Once we were able to make it to the office we proceeded with the same routine as the day before. The newbie nurse from the day before was there trying to quietly explain (Her quite voice isn’t so quite bc I heard her loud and clear) to another new face what she needed to do to assist with our insemination. The knock at the door came and in comes our 3rd wheel with the new nurse. I said to him you just have all kinds of new nurses and introduce myself and Leslie to her. She tells us she wasn’t really new that she normally works on the other side of the office and she was just helping out today. I thought to myself yeah right…You know you’ve never seen this before and are dying to watch. Well either way it was fine with us. She seemed sweet and way friendlier than the newbie from the day before. We go through the whole routine again and all goes well again. When he’s all finished he talks to us for a minute, wishes us the best of luck and tells us how hopeful he is.

We make it home and I feel pretty worn out. I’m crampy and uncomfortable so I lay down to rest. I sleep most of the day and night, feeling guilty for not being up doing things around the house. I can’t explain how it feels other than it doesn’t feel good. I’m not sure if other people have the same experience as I do but for me it’s just not fun. Then after a day of rest Wed rolls around and I’m feeling 100% again. So we did it…back to back and gave it our best shot. Nothing we can do now but wait and hope for the best!

~M