Dip Stick

Well the waiting was unbearable. I gave in on Monday and decided to go ahead and take a test early. I did the whole routine and peed in a cup, which I have become quite a professional at doing I must say… Then I dipped the stick and waited to see the NOT PREGNANT words appear. The stupid thing kept flashing and flashing…I thought for sure it was broken but finally words magically appeared… PREGNANT. I thought my eyes were screwing with me and I wasn’t reading it right. I went into the bedroom and woke Les up. She had worked the night before so she was quite startled by me shoving a pregnancy test in her face saying, “Oh My God read this for me… What does that say?” She rubs her eyes and puts her glasses on…. She looks at it and then looks back at me. “It says you’re Pregnant!” We kept looking at the stick like the words were going to change. The feeling of disbelief came over me. Sweet Lord…this can’t be true. I mean this is what we’ve been wanting and waiting for but REALLY?!?!? Is it really happening?!?!? I’m still in shock 3 days later. I would have never guessed that we would have been successful after our first at home insemination. We were both prepared for several more months of this process. I still can’t believe it. I’m so happy I feel like I could explode!

I’ve been dying to blog about it and let everyone who has been so supportive know our good news but Les wanted me to wait a little bit. She finally gave me the green light today to tell everyone. We have a doctors appointment for Tuesday for conformation But things are looking good. I’ve now taken 3 tests and have had 3 positives results. So I guess its time to let it sink in.

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How in the Heck is this Gonna Work?

Well we are exactly a week away from the big day and we have no idea how this is going to work. We have half of a plan…but just the first half. We know that we have all the supplies we need to make this happen. We’ve done our homework on how to do this (the insemination) and do it right. We know that our donor is on board and is ready to donate Thursday and Friday but there’s a catch. He will be at the hospital all day both days. Now that means we will meet him really quickly to do the “hand-off”. The doctor said that we need to do the insemination pretty much right away…well how in the heck is this gonna work? We will be 30 mins away from our house!

I can’t believe I’m even writing about this…We’ve considered inseminating in the car because the actual insemination will only take 5 mins or 10 mins max. The long part is me having to lay down hips elevated for at least 20 mins. But really?!?! How insane is that? In a car? I watched a documentary on 20/20 a month or so ago of couples trying to get pregnant like us using known donors. One of the couples did inseminate in the car after picking up their swimmers. They did it right down the street in a parking lot or something. Its Karma coming back to get me because I laughed at the idea of them doing that. Well I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. Sure we do have a Tahoe with practically blacked out windows with plenty of room for me to lay down comfortably but my goodness… Is it just me that thinks this sounds crazy?

We are so ready to be pregnant and start our family but I had no idea how hard it would be, especially doing it this way. When we decided to change to using a known donor we knew all the work that was going to be on our shoulders but just not how much. Yes, we have saved thousands of dollars by choosing to do it this way but we’ve added lots of stress. I know we’ll figure it out…

~M

Plan C

What a rollercoaster…this past week I have spent more time on the phone than a telemarketer. I think we have finally nailed down a plan and are ready to get going. Unfortunately we had to let go of the idea of being able to do IUI’s right now due to the fact that we aren’t able to get around the 6 month quarantine period. We were hoping that the one other fertility clinic in our area would be able to provide the services for us but it turns out that they are almost impossible to deal with. I’m pretty sure that the patient coordinator that I spoke with at least three times has a learning disability. I wonder if she can even tie her own shoes. She could not understand what I was wanting from her clinic. Its pretty simple… Our donor comes in and donates his swimmers. You collect it… do what you do with it… put into vials, store it…then you let me use those vials without having to wait 6 months. But she kept wanting to schedule an appointment for me and our donor with one of the doctors at their clinic even after telling her I had my own doctor and I just needed the collection and storage. I think it’s safe to assume that they must not deal with very many lesbian couples. I still don’t think she understands that I do not have a problem with fertility. “Listen lady, I do not have a fertility issue.. other than the fact that my wife does not produce sperm! Is that clear enough for you?” I finally just gave up. There was no point in getting all worked up about it…time to move on.

So our hope was squashed and we had no choice but to go with Plan C. Now Plan C was our least favorite plan because it involves us having to deal directly with the Jiz. Yep. We are now going to have to do same day Intracervical Inseminations. I was a nervous wreck when I sent the email to our donor asking him if he would be okay with doing same day inseminations. This change in plan means us having to do a hand-off of his swimmers at least two days in a row each month. Which means more of a time commitment for him. Our donor has a very time consuming job and I just didn’t know if this idea would fly with him. Because seriously, how convenient is it to be at work or wherever he may be and have to drop what he’s doing to go Jiz in a cup? I was totally preparing myself for a negative response considering that really wasn’t what he originally agreed to.

The wait was awful but luckily he replied to us that night saying that he was okay with the new plan. He said the same thing that Les and I said when we realized that we were going with PlanC, “The handoffs will be a little awkward but we can make it work.” It was so nice to know that we were on the same page. I don’t know how to put into words how much I appreciate him being willing to do this for us. This guy is willing to give us a gift that will change our lives forever. We can never say thank you enough.

So here I am…hopeful, antsy, excited, nervous, etc. all at the same time. We’re looking on the bright side of going to PlanC… using fresh swimmers will work to our advantage and we’ll be pregnant soon. I start my clomid today on day 4 of my cycle and will take it for 5 days…should ovulate and inseminate exactly 7 days later! Wow! We are 2 weeks away from starting the process. So much hard work! Please God let it pay off this time!

~M

You thought wrong…

Just when you think that things are going to be easier you get the news that you thought wrong. I called the clinic last week to schedule an appointment for our donor to come in and donate. They started setting up the appointment and everything seemed to be rolling right along. Then I said to her, “We’ll be doing our next insemination at the end of Feb…everything will be ready by then right?” Well that’s where I was SO wrong. She says to me, “Oh… No, they have to be in Quarantine for 6 months.” There’s that word again….Quarentine. I said, “You have got to be kidding me… 6 Months?” Well she was not joking at all. I didn’t know what else to say so I told her I would call back to set something up once I had talked to Les and processed all of the info.

That news came as a Big Blow. I had no idea that when we decided to use a known donor that we would be looking at not evening being able to use our donor’s donation for half a year.  We can’t wait that long to start trying again. It’s been hard enough having to take a break but I can’t imagine having to wait 6 more months. I don’t know what to do!!!

~M

2012 is HERE!

Wow its been a while since I’ve sat down to write! The holidays were crazy busy! What a great Christmas with my family and Leslie’s family! We seemed to go non-stop the whole time but enjoyed every minute of it. New Years was a great time too. We had so much fun celebrating the end of 2011 with our friends. Leslie said she had never seen me so silly…I guess had a little too much fun thanks to a bottle of wine. Ha! But we agreed that I deserved a last night of fun before we get going again. Now I can say that we are really excited about what 2012 holds for our family!

During our little break it was nice to be free of the stress but I’m ready to start-up this process again. Things will be different from the last go round. We’ve found a known donor and are so excited that he is willing to help us out. He is ready to donate as soon as we’ve finalized the paperwork and set up a time with the fertility clinic. I plan on working to get all of that going this week so he can get into the clinic asap! Keeping our fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly we are hoping to do an insemination at the end of February.

Looks like we’re back in the groove!

~M

Taking Applications

We have been thinking a lot about our options of a donor. We have discussed at length the cost of staying with Xytex. For 3 months worth of trying, the little swimmers alone were around $3000, and then our doctor is a whole other charge. (Decided to change my terminology from Jiz to little swimmers…I guess it sounds less crude) We know that when using a Xytex for our donor we have the opportunity to look at them like it’s a job interview. Their donor profiles give you great insight to who they are and their medical background. We really like how they operate, and we have already had a good experience with them but….. the cost in using them is going to be a burden. Now if we would’ve had success during the past 3 months this would be a non-issue but looking to the future and knowing that we could have 2, 3 or even 4 more tries before we get pregnant we just aren’t sure what to do about the cost. So this is where we decided to think outside the box.

We started tossing the idea around of trying to find a donor that we know but aren’t close to.  From the start I thought I’d never want to do it this way, but hearing other people’s stories and good experiences has made us begin to reconsider this option. We know that we would want to have very little interaction with the donor. He would go to the doctor’s office where we store our swimmers, just “drop his off”, and they would handle the rest. We would want to avoid the awkwardness at all cost! The paper work would be already drawn up relieving them of any obligation and parental rights prior to all this happening. It would really be no different from the process that we’ve been going through already except we’d know his name and maybe know him personally and the best part– we wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars on swimmers. Now tell me that it doesn’t sound very appealing!

But so much goes into finding a donor that you “know”. We wouldn’t want someone we are close friends with. We wouldn’t want someone who we would see or run into on a regular basis. Now if they live here in the Nashville area it may be okay considering there is a good chance that we will be moving out-of-state this summer. But the task of finding someone who is willing to donate isn’t easy.

I mean this guy has to really think about what he’s doing because its kinda a Big Deal. Okay now on a more serious note… he has to be willing to donate knowing that he will have no parental role in this child’s life. It is just a “gift”. It’s the most amazing generous gift that you could ever give to a couple who is desperately wanting a child. The idea of having a healthy, smart, funny, good-looking, normal guy donate to “our cause” for free seems too good to be true, but there is a chance. And we have no idea what is going to happen. Who knows?

So that’s it. We are now open to the idea of using someone we “know”. Really don’t know anyone right now that we would ask. I think we should try to sit down and make out a list. Or maybe just put it out there to the world that we are taking applications. Announcement: The Terrell’s are Taking Applications. Thanks.

~M

Back to Back

Monday morning bright and early I woke up, took my daily ovulation test and just like the day before I had a faint positive. Les was reluctant for us to go in for the appointment without a for sure positive knowing that this is our last month to try. We arrive and they put us in our regular room. Our favorite 3rd Wheel enters the room to chat with us about events of the past month, the meds I took and ovulation symptoms. He said that he thinks we should go ahead with the insemination because even if the egg hasn’t popped out yet we know it will very soon and the little swimmers will be there waiting on it when it arrives.  Once I’m on the table there is the familiar knock at the door and he comes in with a new face in tow. This newbie was eager to help and watch. Ha! I swear I thought she was going to come over his back trying to see this procedure…obviously a first for her! All finished they left the room with me laying with my head down and the lights off so I could relax…we did our 20 mins then packed up to leave knowing we’d be back in less than 24 hours for our last try.

The next morning bright and earlier than the day before I drop Nathan off at school early and head up to Dr. Macey’s office to meet Les. She worked the night before so we planned to meet there. I asked her to go and pick up the vial for us at the storage office. Well, let me just say what a huge mistake that was! I receive a call from Anita as I’m pulling into the doctor’s office parking lot…Anita: “Hello Melissa. You didn’t tell me you were having someone pick up the vial for you.” Me: “Oh I’m sorry that’s my wife Leslie. She’s on my account paperwork.” Anita: “Well I’m sorry but you’re the one listed on the vial as the patient so legally I can only give it to you or someone else with written authorization.” Then she proceeds to tell me I could fax her an authorization…Ummm, Les just told you I’m in the car, lady!!  Well folks that did it. It sent Les over the edge.  Les was livid that Anita was rude and offensive. Not only was the policy itself offensive when my own wife couldn’t pick up the sperm to make OUR baby, but the lady looked at her like she had 3 heads when Les told her why she was there instead of me. So my only option was to turn around and go get it myself. Thank God I was only 5 mins away. Geez. I guess we’re lucky all Les did was barge out of the office yelling “This is just F-ing ridiculous!”

Once we were able to make it to the office we proceeded with the same routine as the day before. The newbie nurse from the day before was there trying to quietly explain (Her quite voice isn’t so quite bc I heard her loud and clear) to another new face what she needed to do to assist with our insemination. The knock at the door came and in comes our 3rd wheel with the new nurse. I said to him you just have all kinds of new nurses and introduce myself and Leslie to her. She tells us she wasn’t really new that she normally works on the other side of the office and she was just helping out today. I thought to myself yeah right…You know you’ve never seen this before and are dying to watch. Well either way it was fine with us. She seemed sweet and way friendlier than the newbie from the day before. We go through the whole routine again and all goes well again. When he’s all finished he talks to us for a minute, wishes us the best of luck and tells us how hopeful he is.

We make it home and I feel pretty worn out. I’m crampy and uncomfortable so I lay down to rest. I sleep most of the day and night, feeling guilty for not being up doing things around the house. I can’t explain how it feels other than it doesn’t feel good. I’m not sure if other people have the same experience as I do but for me it’s just not fun. Then after a day of rest Wed rolls around and I’m feeling 100% again. So we did it…back to back and gave it our best shot. Nothing we can do now but wait and hope for the best!

~M

Meant to Be

I’m sorry that I have been absent and neglected to write for a while. I guess you could say that it was a tough weekend. I started not feeling well last Thursday and had to suffer through a 12 hour shift at work that night. While I was at work Les and I had a conversation on the phone she began to google all of my “symptoms” asking me dozens of questions about how I was feeling and if I had experienced this or that. By the end of it she had herself and pretty much me too that it was looking really good and I just had to be pregnant.

So she stops that morning on her way home from work and excitedly buys, one of the over priced tell you 6 days before your period, Preggers Tests. I open the test, dip the stick and then wait the whole 5 mins until its says it should be ready. I tried not to even look at the stick until it was time because if it was positive I wanted to be surprised. Well Times Up…and No…not Positive. Not even a hint of 2 lines. An absolute negative. I have to admit I was sad but I also thought that I may still have a chance because I hadn’t started my period yet and tests have been known to be wrong…. so I lay down to sleep that morning trying not to give up all hope.

When I woke up later in the day there it was…no more hope. I, the one who swore my hopes would not be up, sat in the bathroom with tears streaming down my face. I felt hopeless, heartbroken and totally deflated. I felt like I was letting Les down. Then I started to doubt myself and doubt my body, my fertility.

I knew that I had to tell Les and I knew that she would be sad too which didn’t make me feel any better considering she was so hopeful. I believe that this is just as much her process as it is mine and if she wants to be hopeful and excited she can be. And when I told her she was disappointed but she was sweet and felt bad that she had gotten my hopes up. (So take note: Don’t Google Everything) I just want to know what are we doing wrong? What could we do differently? We changed the timing up and took the clomid? It is just crazy how EVERYTHING has to line up just right in order for it to happen and regardless of how OCD I am not in control of all the ducks in the line. Frustrated and worried that it may not happen. We have one more try left and then we have to wait for a while. We’ll wait at least three months because if not and we ended up preggers then that would put us having a baby right in the middle of us moving next year. Another reason we have to wait is because we will need to save up more $money$ in order to start trying again. So another long wait if it doesn’t work with our 3rd and final try. No worries. No more pity party. I know if it is meant to be it will happen and if it doesn’t happen now it will eventually.

~M

Wait and see

Well on Monday we had Insemination #2! We picked up our vial from storage and I knew where to put it without having to be told : ) Once we had signed on the dotted line that we picked it up we headed right over for our appointment. This time we were going into it knowing what to expect which made things easier. Our 3rd Wheel entered the room with a big smile happy to see us and told us the good news that our little swimmers looked great. We had a new friend who was tagging along with him this time. She was all smiles when she came in the room behind him. I would almost bet that it was her first time to see a lesbian couple having this procedure done so I wanted her to feel welcome. I smiled really big and introduced myself and my wife. I was really trying to make sure she noticed how we were normal people and not aliens like some assume. I think she was more nervous than I was. Ha! She didn’t get too close…pretty sure she stayed fairly close to the door. Maybe it was the whole I don’t want to seem too nosey or she could have been thinking, “I don’t want your wife to think I’m staring at your “good girl” because she might beat me up” or it may have been that it was her first day and she didn’t know what to do…who knows. But I got a good vibe from her, she was very nice.

During the insemination we asked Dr. Macey a few questions about our little swimmers…How long does it take them to travel? How do they know where to go? How long do they live? He answers the questions he knew… ( thank goodness he’s not one to pretend to have an answer for everything! He’s not afraid to say “Honestly I dont know”) He tells us that the little swimmers just know to “swim up stream.” & that we have top of the line swimmers. Our new friend chimes in with, “Kind of like salmon.” Yes honey, kind of like salmon…thanks for the fish reference…it did make me laugh out loud. I reply with, “I’m just glad ours looked good and they aren’t stupid ones swimming in circles going nowhere.” She thought that was funny too : ) So I’m hoping her first IUI experience was a good one and that we made a good impression on our new friend…I’m sure we’ll be seeing her again soon and I bet she’ll look less nervous next time.

So over all the process went very well and Les was by my side the whole time holding my hand and keeping me calm. We came home right away and I pretty much camped out on the couch all night! Nathan kept me company since Les had to go to work and this time I didn’t have the bad cramps that I experienced last time so that was a relief. I had a very restful evening and woke up Tuesday feeling well rested.

Conclusions are that Les thinks that this time was a success and is super Hopeful. And I am still really unsure how I feel…not really sure what kind of vibe I’m getting just yet. Its not that I’m being Negative Nancy it is just that I’m staying balanced, focused on taking care of me and just feeling good.

So the jury is out and now we’ll just have to wait and see what happens…

~M

Balloon Popped

Well my balloon popped but I wasn’t as upset as I thought I’d be because the timing may be alright. Sunday afternoon my ovulation test was positive which means that I will be ovulating 12 to 24 hours later. Which considering it’s been at least 12 hours since my positive test I would bet money that I’m ovulating right now if it hasn’t already happened.

With our last try we jump the gun and now this time we aren’t really sure we’ll even make it in time. Now do you see what I mean by the hurry up and wait??? The egg doesn’t live forever…and they suggest you inseminate and have the sperm there waiting on the egg. But maybe we’ll do it backwards…(trying to be positive) our egg wants to get to the party first and the sperm want to be fashionably late.

So here is our game plan. (Les is asleep already so she doesn’t even know our plan yet but I’ve got it all figured out!) In the morning we are dropping Nathan off at school… battle rush hour traffic to pick up a vial of our baby making juice and then driving straight to Dr. Macey’s office. Honestly, I want to be there when the doors open. I called after the positive result but of course the office was closed…it was Sunday. So I left a message for his nurse but I can’t possibly wait on her to call me back in the morning… what if she doesn’t check her messages til noon?!? Nope can’t risk it… we’re just going to show up unannounced and that way we can get worked into his schedule ASAP!

I’m so worried now…what if we’re too late? What if my egg is gone before our little swimmers get to it? Sweet Lord this is crazy…Wish us luck. Time to get some sleep…Big day tomorrow!

~ M

To Take or Not to Take? That is the Question.

Moving forward in our little journey to have a baby we’ve decided that we could have done a few things better to increase our chances. Before our first insemination I had been charting my temps for months, then started using an ovulation kit almost a week after my period with the hopes of nailing down the exact day I ovulate. Well the day came, my temp spiked just little (by a little I mean from my base temp of 96.4 up to 96.9) and when the spike in temp happens, like our Doc said it would, that means you are ovulating. But I think we may have jumped the gun on that one and inseminated too soon…because the morning after we inseminated my temp was 97.2 and technically you ovulate about 24 hours after the spike and 97.2 is a true spike for me. So there is a good chance that we inseminated too early because we were so excited that we were ovulating and…. I have zero patience. BUT this time we are really going to be strategic about this insemination. We are watching my temps really closely and we aren’t going to do the insemination until I hit the 97 degree range.

So I called my doctor’s office to let the nurse know that we weren’t preggers since I had started my period this past weekend and that we would be soon scheduling another insemination and asked her to call in the prescription for Clomid that Dr. Macey had recommended I take. Now I know what some of you are thinking right away….oh that is the drug that makes you have multiple babies!!! Well that’s exactly what we thought about too. Les right away said “Oh No! We can not handle having more than one baby. Not going to happen. No mam.” And then I’m thinking…really I do just want ONE baby but who cares if its more than one??! Well My wife, thats who : )

So what do I do…. take it or not?

After debating it I started to look into the drug information and statistics so we could truly weigh out this whole thing. Now clomid received the multiples reputation when it was first being used but that is not exactly the norm. I’ve learned quite a bit about the drug while doing my own research and thought I would share just a couple of the interesting facts I learned about it.

“Clomid Description: Clomid (clomiphene citrate tablets USP) is an orally administered, nonsteroidal, ovulatory stimulant…” (http://www.drugs.com/pro/clomid.html)

Clomid therapy should not be administered for more than 3-6 months dependent upon many individual patient variables. Clomid studies have clearly demonstrated that pregnancy is most likely to occur during the first three months of therapy. There is little advantage to increasing the clomiphene dosage beyond that required to regulate        ovulation.” (http://www.infertilityspecialist.com/clomidft.html)

“Chances of Multiples on Clomid:  1 in 10 have Twins ______ 1 in 200 have triplets _______ 1 in 333 have Quads…” (http://www3.telus.net/tyee/multiples/3various.html )

So YES, I will be taking the Clomid. I made up my mind that I would rather take it and end up pregnant…. even if it is with more than one baby….. than not take it and end up not pregnant at all. I just feel like we need all the help we can get here.

~M

Now I Know Why Patience is a Virtue

Well we finally did it. Its taken me a week to write about it but it was kinda a sensitive topic around the house because Les wasn’t sure how she felt about me announcing to the world that we had tried. She is worried that it will be harder on us if it doesn’t happen and everyone knows. I understand her concern but at the same time it is part of this journey and that is why I’m writing this.

We had our first insemination last week! SOOOOO Exciting! Honestly I think we were in total disbelief that it was really happening. I was really stressing prior to it. We picked up our vial at the storage office and I signed for it and the lady hands it to me in a bag with a rubber band around it and says “here stick it in your bra where it is touching your skin.” I think the look I gave her when she said that must have shown her that I was really blown away by this statement and I needed an explanation for why she was asking me to do this. Ummm I believe that it is a very strange way to transport the vial but they ask you to do this bc the vial needs to be kept at body temperature before the insemination. On the drive over to see our 3rd Wheel, Leslie says “How funny is it that you have jiz in your shirt right now?” Ha! Not funny at all…well just a little…but overall it’s just strange!

So we get to the 3rd Wheel’s office and his nurse takes us back to a room and tells us that he’ll be there soon, he’s at the hospital delivering a baby : ) **(Side note: Our 3rd wheel, Dr. Macey, is the sweetest thing in the world, when he found out we were ovulating he made time to see us even though it was a day that he doesn’t even see patients in his office. He called us himself to say that he was excited to see us and do the insemination. )** Waiting in the exam room I was super nervous! Les kept saying “calm down” and then suggested that I do some yoga to help me relax. So taking her advice in the middle of the exam room I started doing several of my favorite poses and slowly I felt my tense muscles loosening up and my body beginning to relax. Luckily the nurse didn’t come in during this little spectacle…. could you imagine her walking in while I’m in the middle of my downward dog pose?!? Now that would be really awkward! Well, probably not considering what she looks at all day.

Twenty minutes pass and then there is a knock at the door! It’s him! He’s here! He goes over whats going to happen. Then he tells us that he’ll be back in just a few mins and we’ll get started. When he comes back in he say that our jiz looks good and they’re all swimming! Now, I gotta lay down and assume the position. Leslie stayed right next to me holding my hand. Awww… how sweet…. I know : ) He says he has to move really slow so that he doesn’t upset the uterus. He tells us when he’s made it through the cervix and lets us know that he’s going to start slowly moving forward making “little deposits” as he goes. Nice terminology there Dr Macey…”little deposits”…his words not mine. Less that 10 mins later he says that he is all finished. He tells me not to move and to stay there on the table for at least 15 mins. He flattens out the exam table and then lays my head down even more and raises my legs up…T-berg for you medical folks out there…then he wishes us the best and says he’ll talk to us soon. We look at each other and say wow! That was it! That is what we have been thinking about and planning for so long. We both agreed that it wasn’t nearly as intimate and emotional as we would have liked but then again when you have the 3rd Wheel in the room….

So here we are a week away from knowing if we had success. I am almost convinced at this point that I am not. No signs or anything but just convinced that this wont be the time that we get pregnant. I’m not being negative Nancy…I’m just trying to be Realistic Ruby bc it is very rare for it to happen on the first try. So now I know why they say that patience is a virtue and its a virtue that I just do not possess. We still have a week to go before we know anything and I’m going crazy just wanting to know already!

~M

Information Overload

Trying to get pregnant is so much more work than I thought it would be. I never realized everything that goes into it when you are trying and planning for it to happen.

Leslie and I both have been researching information trying to learn about things we can do in order to increase our chances of this working for us…sooner rather than later. I hate to be impatient but I’m just ready to get this show on the road already. I’ve read articles from many different sources that looking at so much stuff
just tend to confuse me. I’ll get it in my head that I’m going to try something that I read about then I’ll see where something else worked for this other couple. My word! Can’t we all just get along…well I meant…can’t we all just come up with some consistent suggestions to help women who want to get pregnant! Everyone going in different directions and constantly contradicting each other just confuses me!

So my request is that someone just make me a list of foods to eat, exercises to do, medications & vitamins to take and lastly I’ll also need a list of things NOT to do. Considering I’ve never tried to get pregnant before and considering when I was pregnant it was unplanned 11 yrs ago, I am open for any useful suggestions because the information overload is killing me! And I’m done with Google!

~M

3 Out of 4 is BAD

The ball is rolling and buying our units was so exciting. We received confirmation that they had been shipped and we were looking forward to its arrival. We picked up the tank from FedEx and by the way the tank that is holding tiny little vials weighs a ton! It looks like a time capsule or a tank that belongs to NASA! Crazy, huh?! Also interesting… Xytex chooses not to be very discreet about their packaging arrangement. I was quite surprised to see the FedEx guy walking up to the desk with a large white box with Xytex written in HUGE letters with cryo and tissue bank underneath on 2 sides of the box! I was trying to act like this was completely normal for him to be handing me a box with our units of jiz in it. I kept thinking to myself as I was signing the delivery confirmation, “does this guy know what Xytex is?” and “is he going to ask me what is in the box?” Thank goodness he didn’t because I’m not sure how I would have responded. Awkward!!!

I drag the box to the car and then seat buckle it in. Yes, I know it sounds silly but what else do you do with the box that has your baby making stuff in it? I mean the box read fragile so I was just trying to do my best to keep it from being tossed all over the back seat. I take the box into the office and a lady comes and takes it from me to take the vials to storage asking me to wait in the waiting room. After a few mins she comes to get me. When we are back in her office she says what I really didn’t want to hear, “I think there is a problem. Didn’t you say that there was supposed to be 4 vials with this delivery?” My response is “yes”. Well she tells me that they only sent 3 and I would need to contact them to clear this up about the missing vial. I felt SICK! How in the heck could my friend Lois let this happen to me??? I mean I thought we had a special bond! I just sang her praises just days before and now look whats happened…I’m very upset that she let me down. So I leave the office and get to the car where Leslie is waiting on me. I proceed to tell her about the vial that is MIA and she didn’t take it as calmly as I did. She was pissed…mostly because of how much that one little vial costs and the fact that we had been charged for 4. She’s upset with our friend Lois too, saying “How could she have entered our order in wrong? We confirmed that we wanted 4 several times. If they got the # of vials wrong, what if they gave us the wrong donor too!!!” Now in any other situation the statistics of 3 out of 4 really isn’t bad…but in this case it is awful!

I make the call to Xytex right away and ask the girl who answers if I can speak to Lois? She tells me that Lois is on the phone with another customer and asked if she can help me with anything. At first I hesitated and thought I wanted to tell Lois how disappointed I was in her but decided that I couldn’t wait on her, who knows how long that might take. We just wanted to get this problem fixed ASAP! So I proceed to tell Jennifer, my new receptionist friend, the situation. She was super sweet just like Lois, and apologized for the mistake. She finds all of our info and said that she saw where Lois had entered our purchase of 4 vials and didn’t understand what went wrong. She tells us that there must have been a problem in the packing/shipping department and she would get to the bottom of it, find our missing vial then call me back. So it was then that I realized that it was not Lois’s fault that we didn’t get 4 vials and felt guilty for doubting her competence.

Later in the day I received a call from my new friend Jennifer who tells me she finally figured out which vial was left out of our order. She made it sound like it was some kind of wild goose chase tracking that thing down! We we’re just happy that they figured it out and fixed the problem. Now our 1 little missing vial is making its way to Nashville to be with the others. Yay!

Like I’ve said before nothing surprises me in this crazy journey.

~M

Dark Lines

I received my new Yoga 4 Fertility DVD and I was super excited to try it out. So I pop it in and am totally ready to learn something new. Actress Brenda Song is the instructor and creator of the routine… Apparently she had some trouble getting pregnant with her 2nd child and that is what inspired her to make this DVD. At times it was hard to stay focused because hearing her talk you through each pose kept reminding me watching Desperate Housewives years ago and hearing her narrate that show…just needed Eva next to me to make the experience more real.

I worked my way through the routine pretty easily. Only had one awkward part in the whole routine where she wanted you to do some kind of movement using your hands and groin. I took one look at that part and said “Oh hell no!” and skipped on to the next section. You can tell from the DVD that Brenda is a yoga champ and I must say that it was very relaxing and informative. Overall it was a good buy and I’d say if you like slow relaxing yoga then I’d recommend it. She seems to be a little weird but who am I to judge her, considering I’m writing a blog about trying to get pregnant and most of my posts have talked about Jiz.

Now moving onto more exciting news. I have to give shout out and a fist bump to my girl Brenda because it looks like I’m ovulating! Now I’m not saying I ovulated just because of her yoga routine. We all should know that there is a monthly timeline that my eggs abide by and they could care less if I do yoga with Brenda. But I do find it humorous that I did the routine then ovulate the next morning. And it is official… The pee-stick finally had 2 dark lines! Not just 1 dark one  OR  1 lite & 1 dark…NO mam…it had 2 dark lines! Can I just express how exciting it is to know that I didn’t run in the bed room & wake Les up for nothing this time! (*Side Note: Let us just say that my judgement of how dark a line is has not been the best and I have startled her several times. Ooops*) Well not today folks! This was it! Our first month tracking with the pee-sticks to see if I was ovulating and it happened! Wooo Hooo!

Now we’re off to see Dr. Macey in the morning, who will from now on he will be referred to as the 3rd Wheel in my blogs. We have lab work to do and a timeline to set up. It is a crazy feeling knowing that we are “so close but yet so far away”.

~M