“I don’t know how you do what you do. You’re a super mom”
Most mothers would love hearing those words but it made me feel awkward. Of course I said thank you and I thought it was very sweet but what I should have said was that I’m not any stronger than you are. I’m just a mom trying to make it with the hand I was dealt. It was tough being a mom dealing with a son with cancer, a son with autism, a daughter with a speech delay and living apart from my wife for a year. Thankfully I had help from my amazing parents. But I don’t believe I was doing anything that any other mother wouldn’t do in my situation. I’m not a super mom. I was the mom that was in the ocean doing the doggy paddle trying to keep my kids on the raft. I was in survival mode the year that Nathan was diagnosed and treated for cancer. I wasn’t a super mom. I just didn’t have a choice but to keep going despite all the obstacles that were thrown at me.
I’m here to tell everyone I don’t have it all together. It wasn’t and still isn’t pretty some days. I’m not the best mom ever. I have accepted that I can’t do it all. I have accepted that I’m not perfect and life won’t always go as planned. I’m just a mom giving it 110% to set my kids up for success. Parenting shouldn’t be a competition anyway. I know I’m no better than the mom next door. I believe that we are all just trying our hardest for the kids we love. Wanting to be the best at everything can be toxic. Wanting to post your perfect family and perfect life on social media for everyone to see is exhausting. We shouldn’t feel like we need to show the world that we have it all together. For a long time I felt like I needed to do that. I took a step back from my phone and social media when Nathan was sick. I simply didn’t have time to be on my phone constantly taking pictures and scrolling through feeds. I still have social media accounts but I went from posting pictures daily to only checking my feed occasionally. I stopped living behind my phone for the first time in a long time. I started living in the moment with my kids. Taking a step back has been one of the best things to happen to me. I am happier now that I’m not constantly feeling the pressure to capture every moment on camera and post it for everyone to see.
So on this Mother’s Day I am cutting myself some slack and taking the pressure off of me. I am not a super mom and I don’t have to be. My goal is to be the best mom I can be for my kids and take care of me too. I started celebrating Mother’s Day early this past week when Nathan and Alex arrived in Michigan. Having my whole crew of littles and not so littles anymore all in one place filled me with so much happiness. I would say that this was by far the best Mother’s Day I’ve ever had. Healthy and happy children around me.