Overwhelmed

Every parent has fears and worries for their children. They may worry that their child may not be accepted or deal with bullying one day. Especially as a gay parent, I know I’ve worried about what Noah might face having two moms. I have worried about the discrimination he might face growing up but here lately I’ve silently been dealing with new fears and worries. I have felt quite overwhelmed recently and decided that it might help me if I wrote about what’s going on.
Noah turned two back in November and he still isn’t talking. He babbles and makes noises but still says only two words clearly and none really consistently. Our pediatrician mentioned some concerns at his 12 month check up and again at his 18 month visit but also suggested that maybe he just needed more time, that boys tend to be slower to talk. Now here we are at 26 months old and he’s still not talking. And I feel panicked and stressed that he’s so far behind other toddlers his age. Despite knowing I shouldn’t compare him to other children I can’t help but do it. I feel so overwhelmed seeing how far he needs to go to catch up.
At our two year visit we discussed the delay in his speech and discuss the possibility that this might be more than a speech delay. We’ve asked about a possible hearing deficiency or autism or aspergers. We aren’t afraid of the possible diagnosis’s just wish I knew why he wasn’t talking. The doc doesn’t seem to think that he fits into either of those categories of autism or aspergers but just simply believes that speech therapy is the key to helping him. So we’ve started down that road. We have a speech evaluation referral and hopefully will be starting therapy in the next couple of weeks. To rule out a hearing deficit he’s had not one but two hearing screenings. The first screening left me feeling unsure and questioning the results bc the told me he was on the low end of normal but offered no real explanations. After the second screening we feel confident that it is not his hearing. That screening at Tennessee School for the Deaf went really well and we felt like he was responding well and they covered all areas of concern.
So now I am hopeful that we’ll have everything going that he needs very soon.
I can’t say enough how sweet and loving our precious boy is. He gives the best kisses and hugs. He brightens our home with his energy, contagious smiles and laughter. He brings such joy and happiness to all of our lives already that I can’t imagine how much more our world would change hearing his sweet voice express his thoughts and feelings. But if he never says a word I’ll love him just the same.

I’ll give another update soon.

~M

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4 thoughts on “Overwhelmed

  1. Hi :). Just wanted to say … Hang in there :). Our oldest daughter had what appeared to be both expressive and receptive speech problems for a long time. We had her hearing tested many times and there was apparently no issue. Eventually she saw a speech therapist and we were told she may have to go to a special school (which we were shocked by!). Even though her speech was limited, she was still a confident and social little kid, so we ignored the special school comment and instead decided to delay her starting school by one year and then enrolled her the following year in a small school that would cater to her interests. It was a regular public school with an awesome teacher student ratio (there were only 15 kids in her prep class!) and she flourished. Her speech made huge gains within the first 12 months to the point where we decided she no longer needed any speech input, and today even though I still notice her speech slip on occasion (usually when she is angry or upset), it is generally no longer an issue. It was hard early on, not knowing why her speech was so limited or why she didn’t understand even basic things we said to her sometimes (At 5 she could not answer the question ‘how are you?’). We worried about if she would cope in a regular school and even whether she would one day ever be able to get a job! But fortunately it turned out she just needed time and a combination of the right circumstances and input to reach her true potential. She is in year 4 now and is doing just fine both socially and academically. Hopefully your little man is just waiting for the right time to reach his true potential too :). Fingers crossed that time will come sooner rather than later 🙂

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. Somedays I feel quite alone. I keep trying to think positive and tell myself that things will be ok but its hard not to worry. Thanks again for your sweet words!

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