gay adoption, gay rights, lesbian moms, second parent adoption, Uncategorized

Home Study

We are still actively working on our second parent adoption. The home study has been the most time-consuming part of the adoption. We have completed the majority of the paper work that needs to be turned in. We’ve had our fingerprints done for a TBI/FBI background check and had our criminal records pulled from the Metro Police Department. We’ve had letters of reference sent from family and friends. Letters from the boys physicians sent saying they are in good health and up to date on immunizations. Given her our work and tax information. Had to prove that we have health insurance and life insurance. I feel like we’ve done everything except give her a sample of our own blood.

The biggest burden was her coming to our home for the home visit and evaluating where we live. And now Thank Goodness that day has come and gone. We spent days and weeks worrying about her visit. I spent hours cleaning and organizing. This rental house is just an older home that has many wonderful features but also many features that we were worried would cause us trouble when she visited. For example the stairs to the basement dont have a rail and there is an old fireplace in the livingroom. I can’t tell you how many hours I spent worrying that she was going to think the fireplace was unsafe. So we added bumper pads to it, placed a painting in front of it, then moved that and tried puttin plants in front of it… Lord, I did everything possible to make sure she would find that fireplace acceptable. And when she came she barely glanced at it. She did ask to see our fire extinguisher and smoke detectors which we proudly showed her. We also showed her that we had no cleaning supplies below the sinks or down low in the home (another state requirement). She did a quick tour of the house only peeking into each room. I think she didn’t even spend more than 15 mins actually looking at our house. All that worrying we did for that quick tour. I guess I had it in my head that she was going to be inspecting our house with a fine tooth comb but that wasn’t the case at all. Seems like her main goal is to view your home to see that there is adequate room for everyone and that there aren’t any major hazards.

The majority of her time at our house she spent talking to us. She met Nate for the first time and asked if she could ask him a few questions…well that was the only part that didn’t go so well. He was super nervous and when she asked him if he knew why she was there he answered with, “to make sure our house is safe for Noah.” Well that’s what we had told him and honestly I think that it was a good answer. But she wanted him to understand more about the home study I guess because the day after the study she asked if we could explain the adoption situation to him more and could she meet with him again. At first we were a little frustrated with the situation. The reason we hadn’t talked about the home study and adoption very much with Nate is because in his eyes we are already a family, Leslie is already Noah’s mom and we don’t like to continually highlight the fact that the states denies us basic rights. But I agreed to bring him in. I talked to him at length about the adoption process and the home study and when we went to see her this past week she seemed very satisfied with his responses and understanding about everything.

Now with that behind us I feel like a weight has been lifted. We are literally weeks away from having our adoption official. We are thrilled to be this close to finishing. Our adoption date will either be July 9th or Aug 6th. Yippee!

5 thoughts on “Home Study”

  1. Congratulations on a successful home visit!! And thanks so much for the info! Now that Gracie’s medical bills are all paid, I’ve started saving to adopt her and I still feel like I have so many questions about the process. I spoke with one LGBT attorney and her cost seemed outrageous. Do you mind me asking how much the full adoption will end up costing you guys? Congrats again! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. Thank you Kristin! I’m so glad its over and we’re so close to being done. I dont mind sharing about the costs at all. Its really two fold… you have to pay for your home study and pay your attorney. Our home study cost $1600. Then our attorney fees… well the first attorney we saw charged around $1000 but we have a friend who took on our case pro-bono because we are her first adoption case. But we will be responsible for paying the court costs which are about $200.

      1. Thanks so much for sharing the cost stuff. It’s a weird question to ask so I’m glad you didn’t mind sharing. That is so awesome that your case is pro-bono! What a blessing. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I’m glad you had a good home visit! I am so sad that we have to go through things like this. I am also disheartened that you had to explain to Nate more than necessary, as of course Leslie is already Noah’s parent and shouldn’t need to be adopting her own kid. I know it’s frustrating and we haven’t opted to go that route, as much as I know we should, but I’m glad yours went well. I’m actually glad you are sharing your experience because in the future, we may opt for an adoption situation, it’s just too pricey right now.

    1. Thank you Rachael! Explaining everything to Nate was hard but he understands now…I’m just glad he’s old enough to get it. The adoption is costly but if we don’t go ahead and do it now we wont have the money to do it until Les finishes med school.

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