Being pregnant has had its ups and downs. The ups have been amazing but right now I would say I might be on a down swing. My emotions are Out of Control and I am exhausted. I mean so exhausted that it is all I can do to motivate myself to change out of my pj’s each day. So exhausted that I have to force myself to shower. I can be laughing one minute then crying the next. No warning just tears. Les and Nate have been real troopers through all of my emotions and neediness. I don’t know if I would be able to put up with me if I were them but they have managed it very nicely.
I currently have a love hate relationship with food. Luckily (*Knock on wood*) I have not had any morning sickness. Now nausea is a different story…and this is where my battle with food begins. It seems that if I don’t eat something every few hours that I become really nauseas and sometimes dizzy too. So now I’m practically having to eat around the clock. Eating all the time is not as fun as it sounds. I am feeling really guilty and worried about how much weight I could gain with this pregnancy. I’ve been asked if I’m craving anything and honestly all it takes is me seeing a food commercial and then whatever I just saw will consume my thoughts for hours. So in other words you could say I’m craving everything! But to get specific…I have been eating the heck out of sunflower seeds so I could say that is a craving. I plan to have the art of eating sunflower seeds hands-free down by the end of this pregnancy. Right now I look like a squirrel cracking the shells, chewing them up, and throwing or spitting out the shells.
Sunday was a rollercoaster of a day. We had a great Easter lunch over at my parents house. It was a great chance to see some of my family. None of my extended family really knows about the pregnancy yet and I’m just lucky that Les isn’t super talkative because I forgot to tell her that my grandparents and aunt’s family don’t know about it yet. She didn’t mention it but that could have been fun if she did. Ha! So the worst part of the day was that I was feeling EXTREMELY bloated. I couldn’t have sucked in my stomach if my life depended on it. I felt huge! Thank goodness for my maxi dress that helped hide my stomach. I couldn’t get comfortable all day and saying I was feeling miserable is an understatement. Poor Les kept trying to tell me that I looked beautiful and that she was happy to see my little belly showing but I was not in the mood for compliments. I reminded her that we just read that the baby is the size of a kidney bean right now so there was no excuse for me to have my gut sticking out so far. I battled my emotions all evening and bless her for listening to me whining. She gave me a fantastic back rub which helped a little. It didn’t change how uncomfortable I was but did feel great while she did it. I must tell you that I feel incredibly lucky to be married to such an amazing woman who loves me despite how challenging I can be. Hope she can hang in there since we have a long 31.5 weeks left!
But regardless of the ups and downs during this pregnancy I’m just happy to be experiencing it all. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason and this was just our time. Some of you may know that Les was trying to get into Med School for this up coming year and unfortunately that didn’t happen this go round. But I truly feel like it didn’t happen for her because we were meant to get pregnant and have this baby before she gets in. Now I don’t have to worry about going through any of this alone and she gets to be involved 100% the whole way through. My heart breaks for the couples that I know are going through this process and it hasn’t worked yet. Don’t give up hope. It will happen when the time is right.